Finding Out

Being told something life changing come with a roller coaster ride of emotions. Being told something life changing for your child is just surreal. Nobody wants struggle for their kids.

When I went to Gat's Neurodevelopment Pediatrician that day I didn't expect to here that he has CP. I was by myself and luckily didn't have Rae with me that day either. I was sitting in the room and everything was going good...I thought anyway. They were asking me the usual questions and I was answering, everything seemed fine to me. Then they started questioning me about his legs and how tight they were. They seemed concerned and then brought in the "head" doctor. And that is when she told me.

The doctor nicely starts informing me a little bit on CP. She tells me he has diplegic cerebral palsy. That we just lower his standards of what he will do furturistically speaking. Like we won't expect him to be able to run and play sports.

Instead of totally freaking out on the outside I hold my crap together. I hold the tears back and start thinking straight asking some of the more obvious questions that had been running through my head. Can he get worse? Thankfully no. He could get stronger, more coordinated. But he could end up need more medication some day. Or there are other treatments available on case to case bases. 

Some of the instant thoughts that went through my head;

Ummm okay?

What does that mean?

Was I supposed to be expecting this?

Is it bad if I want to cry?

Can I cry?

Why?

What?

So what do I do?

Can I fix it?

Do we change what we are doing?

Instead of totally freaking out on the outside I hold my crap together. I hold the tears back and start thinking straight asking some of the more obvious questions that had been running through my head. 

Just a side note:

They had brought CP up at previous appointments. Never did they mention Gat could have it. CP is usually not diagnosed until the ages 2-3. They like to give the kids a chance to outgrow the symptoms. Symptoms being like hypertension in legs, poor posture, balance and gross motor delays. At about 2 you start to realize what they are able to do or will be able to do. Obviously I am not a doctor so don't take just my word, look it up, read about it. It really is interesting.

CP really doesn't have answers NOW. As you know I am not good with that. So this has been an adjustment for me especially.

Ok now on to the thing you really want. . . pictures:) Enjoy my cuties or weirdos, whichever you perfer. These include a nose picker and Gatlyn showing off. He has recently decided to start climbing on things. Hard to tell him to get down when you're so proud he could get up there.

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Oh yah, the stomach bug hit on Sunday. Well it hit Jo so she was down and out, missed school today. Gat got a little of it today. So obvs I had to run to Speedway and get Jo some sprite. And me a Dr. P, and Jess a Mt. Dew, and Rae a slushie. Plus grabbed up a GR Press for good measure(and coupons). 

One Week From Today...

The above photo is from the listing. I'll share photos of the inside, once it's ours!

The Krenz family is moving! On February 20th we will officially become homeowners. We're very excited/nervous/ecstatic! Excuse me while I go dream some more about how I'm going to arrange furniture!

The Family Bed

This isn't actually in bed, it's on the couch

The thing about co-sleeping with an infant is that it leads to co-sleeping with a toddler, which isn't too bad until your co-sleeping with a toddler and another infant. A queen size suddenly feels small, like really small. Tim and I started growing very sick of getting kicked and ending up with random toddler limbs in our faces, and Angry Bean fell off the bed once...don't worry it was onto a pile of clothes (because I'm terrible at keeping our room clean), and she is completely fine. Maybe I shouldn't have share that last part?

What I'm getting at is unless our bed is suddenly looks like this one. It's time to kick Love Bean out.

Her bedtime is about 8:30/9:00pm, and we have always put her to sleep in her own bed. Generally our routine is this—she kisses daddy and Rosie goodnight, we head up to her bed to read a book, sing a couple lullabies, talk about how much Jesus loves her, and say her bedtime prayer. Then I lay with her until she falls asleep, because I can't resist the sweet "cuddle me mom" that she gives me. Then I go back downstairs.

Then around 2am every night, she would come in our bed for the rest of the night. This is what we decided had to stop. Now that Angry Bean is in our bed a lot of nights too, it's just too crowded. Overall the process was not as bad as I expected. Since she does start out in her own bed every night, I think it made things a little easier for us.

Night 1
I actually couldn't send her back to her room, she wasn't feeling the best, and I'm too much of a softy. I put her in our bed and explained that it was the last night she was going to get to sleep with us.

Night 2
She came into our room at her usual time. Tim took her back to her room, but that went horribly. I didn't want to be the mean parent, but she kept crying for me. We told her she could sleep on our floor, but of course she only wanted to be in the bed. I stayed strong and didn't let her. I took her back to her room and laid with her. We both ended up falling asleep, and about an hour later I woke up and went back to my bed.

Night 3
She was up twice. But both times I just took her back to her bed and laid with her until she fell back asleep. She cried the first time, but the second time there was no crying at all.

Night 4
She was up at her usual time, but didn't come into our room. She just stood outside the door asking for me. I took this is as a sign of progress. I took her back to bed and we both fell asleep. I went back to bed when I woke up a little while later.

Night 5
She was up at her usual time, but didn't come into our room. She just stood outside the door again. I think Tim actually got up and took her back to her room, and laid with her for a little bit.

Night 6
She didn't get out of bed until 5am! Love Bean is an early riser, so we had decided at the start of this process that if she came in our room after 5am we would let her snuggle in bed with us until we were all ready to get up for the day. So when she came in a 5am, I pulled her into bed with us and we told her how proud we were that she stayed in her own bed until morning. We all fell back asleep until 8am (it was a Saturday morning) and I'm not sure how we got either one of the girlies to sleep in that late!

Night 7
Rae spend the night with us, so her, Love Bean and I had a slumber party in the living room. I was worried that it would mess up all that progress we made.

Night 8
Again, she didn't get out of bed until 5am!

Night 9
She made it to 5:15am. We're feeling good. And man, it felt good to get two nights in a row of uninterrupted sleep.

I wouldn't say she's totally broke of the habit. A lot of nights she is still waking around 3am. But she no longer comes in our room. She stands outside our door and waits for me to come and tuck her back in. I think her waking up in the night has something to do with her sleep cycle, especially since it's at about the same time every night. I'm trying to encourage her to find a way to get herself back to sleep. I think not laying down with her at bedtime, would help this out a lot...so we've started working on that too.

We started co-sleeping with Love Bean while I was nursing. It made night time feedings easier. And we just never stopped. We have found with both our girlies, that sleeping with us during nights that they are fussy, calms them and helps them to sleep better. Angry Bean (and it was the same for Love Bean) always starts out in her crib, but if she becomes fussy or restless during the night, we put her in bed with us. Although, we are trying to do this less often than we did with Love Bean. Not sure I want to go through all of this again, when we have a third child. My family picks on me a lot about it, but no one really gives us a hard time or makes us feel like we're horrible parents for letting them sleep with us.

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I felt compelled to share this on the blog, after a couple of comments on my personal Facebook page. To sum up the comments—moms are shy about admitting to co-sleeping/bed sharing because it's a controversial parenting topic, it's tiring to hear about how hard the habit will be to break, it makes night time nursing easier.

I know there are some people who would suggest that I am putting my kids in danger. You are entitled to your opinion, I just ask that if you do comment here on the blog or on our Facebook page, that you are respectful. And would also ask that you remember the leading cause of child deaths is car accidents, but we don't think twice about driving our children everywhere.

Marriage and Stuff

Since it was Jess' birthday a couple weeks ago and our anniversary last week (26th), I thought I would say a lil somethin. It has been Six years since we got married. Most of it has been fun. . .

Six things Six years has taught me:

1. Going to bed mad is sometimes the only option. There are somethings in life that just need to be slept off. Hangovers also go in this category.

3. Sometimes you have to just give in. . . take that anyway you want, either way it works.

3. Find someone that will love you no matter what. Even if you look like this when you wake up...

4. Put the kids bed early sometimes...or all the time. Is it starting to sound like I don't like my kids. I swear I do. Promise. Bed time is 7:30 here and then Jess and I get a little time to ourselves. Although we all know that sometimes ends up like this. . . 

5. Have fun and don't forget why you loved each other in the first place. Take time to reminisce about the "dating days" ...some people can say years but ours was about 3 months for us. I wouldn't have it any other way. It worked for us. Throw out a compliment every now and then, not hard for me. . . Jess is a fine lookin' man;) 

6. When in doubt hug it out!! Oh my so corny but oh so great. I love throwing in a hug when he is not really into it. Literally this was me today. I don't really know what to do so I'm just gonna hug you. (He stands there, while I wrap my arms tight around him.)

Sorry if that's inappropriate or gross... but those two words sum up my hubs.

I asked Jess "What have you learned in the first 6 years?" he came back with; impossible and It's harder than it looks. Love you too honey. I swear he does love me. I mean he laughed after to make me feel like it was a joke. He's nice. . . right.  Then responded a little bit later, "When in doubt bring her a pop." True love folks. True. LOVE.