I tossed a couple of ideas around for my first solo post, before
settling on sharing about my new job. I'm doing things a little differently than working moms normally do. I'm
working while Love Bean is a baby and hope to be a stay at home mom
once she goes to school. That way I can attend field trips and other extra curriculars. This decision has came with a boat load of emotions, both good and bad.
My new job started with the new year. Actually it's a 5 month long internship at Red Frog Events (RFE), but it's paid and I'll be doing all that same work as if I were a full time employee. I'm super excited to have gotten the job. RFE gets over 2,000 resumes a month from people hoping to land an internship there, I can have free fountain pop everyday, and they have a tree house in the office, so yeah, it's pretty awesome to be working there!!! The opportunity was too good to turn down, will look great on my resume. I've worked 3 days, and already feel like I'll love it there.
When I compartmentalize and think only about the job, there isn't a sad/negative thought that runs through my mind. Only happy thoughts! But there is the Love Bean Factor. Leaving her all day, makes me sad. Thinking about her spending more time with her nanny than with her mommy, makes me feel guilty. I miss her smiling face all day, and you can bet my desk will be plastered with pics of her. I don't really feel like I need to explain why. If you're a parent you know. If you're not a parent, well I can't really describe it so you'll fully understand anyway. Sorry, that's just the way it is.
I comfort myself with knowing, she really won't remember that I wasn't here with her everyday. And our nanny is so wonderful with her. I know Love Bean gets lots of love while I'm at work. Love Bean smiles every morning when she sees her, and is always happy when I get home. I'm so thankful we are able to have a nanny come to our home, instead of hauling Love Bean out to daycare. In February, Love Bean will be getting a playmate, who is just a month younger than her. Setting up the nanny share makes the financial burden of a nanny A LOT more manageable!
How about all of you working mamas out there? How do you balance work and family?Any advice on dealing with the guilt/sadness ect.? One of my hubs' aunts told me, "You just have to let it suck the first week, and then it will get better. But just let it suck, don't try to pretend it doesn't."
Jamie! I totally understand your post! I went back to work this week, and while at work, strictly thinking about work, it's exciting. But if I allow myself to think about missing my girls, that's when it's awful. Like you, my hubby and I are planning to work towards me being able to stop working in about 7 years (paying off our mortgage first). That way I can be available to support my girls in all their events, in a time they'll remember. Thanks for sharing! I'm going to be looking for a parttime nanny soon, so I might message you to see how you found yours. :)
ReplyDeleteNot going to lie, now I wish I were a momma so I could relate to you! But that's ok, I'm keeping a mental note for the future =)
ReplyDeleteI think you are doing it right! Stella will love having you come to school parties, take her to piano:)lessons and her on advantures as when she is older! Do you remember anything when you were Stella's age?!
ReplyDeleteWas that me? That is usually what I tell moms when they go back to work too. If you decide that these are YOUR terms (and from your post it sounds like you have), that helps too. And if your plans change in the future, then THOSE are your terms too. My kids are older but someone once told me not to disparage your work ("Sorry sweetie, mommy has to go to stinkin' ol' work") because then your naturally self-centered darlings will wonder why you would rather go someplace rotten and not spend the time with them. Make sure your kids know you are going someplace important, that you enjoy, and where you will make a difference. Those are my thoughts! Love the blog, Jamie!!
ReplyDeleteI'm strugglingly with this idea right now too. I've been working out of the house more with this freelance job and there's a possibility for it to turn full time. I'm lucky enough to have my Mom here and she said she'd be willing to be our nanny so I wouldn't have to worry about Leighton's care. But I just struggle with the idea of someone else basically raising her. I like how you said she won't really know the difference but I still worry. At least for now I don't have to decide but if it omes up, IDK what I'll do. It's hard to decide what's more important, being more comfortable financially or being there 100% for baby. I mean, obviously she's more important than money but having that extra money will benefit her as much as it does us. Y'know?
ReplyDeleteWe should talk more! We're both going through the same things in life and both want to be eventual stay-at-home Moms.
Its always a question you will revisit over the years. Finding good daycare was always the hardest thing about parenting,. I did both work away and stay home, and I'll tell you that all these years later I still wonder if I did it right. I think the other posts prove you have a pretty wise group of friends... You'll find your way and judging Stella's smile-you're doing a great job!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh guys, thanks for all the comments and support!
ReplyDeleteYes Kate, that was your advice! Thanks!! :)
Sarah, we should talk more! I'm surprised we don't...