Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Never a Dull Moment

Our little Cowboy has had a rough week.  Number one he can't handle the heat. Which is leading us on a hunt for some sort of air conditioner. 

Unfortunately, Gat is dealing with a cold. Friday during the day we all started to notice how fussy he was, along with a runny nose and heavy breathing. By the way he is NEVER fussy! He is such a good baby. So after a lot of watching throughout the day and a call to Jess and his nurse we decided to take him to ER. So around 5:30 Friday, Gat and I were headed to DeVos. We were quickly taken to a room. The doctor came and seen him and told me they were going to need to keep him overnight. He was breathing way to fast and his oxygen levels were a little low. They wanted to monitor him for a night or two, he thought he possibly could have the onsets of brochiolitis.

As soon as the doctor left the room I had a breakdown. I was not ready for a night in the hospital. It is crazy how quickly you forget that feeling of feeling helpless for your baby. Being home I just shut out what we went through and didn't really think about it often. It is apparent those wounds are still not completely healed. It brought back a lot of hard feelings to deal with. I went in "survivor" mode, I got on the phone (balling of course) and got a plan into place. These were the cards we were dealt, so I was going all in and going to come out on top. I called Jess and he got everything around and got the girls situated with Grandma Cathy and then came up. We hung out and got no sleep for that night. We made the decision I would stay the day at the hospital and Jess would go be with the girls. And my mama came to hang out with me. That afternoon we got the "ok" that we could go home. They were pleased with the turn around and the fact he didn't not need oxygen overnight.  So by 3pm on Saturday, Gatlyn and I rolled home. 

Gatlyn had only been home for 58 days and we already had landed one trip to ER. I guess I forgot how truly fragile he is. He has a weak immune system and cannot tolerate a cold like a term baby. Then there is the slap in the face of how truly blessed we are. He is a miracle. He looks like a completely healthy baby. If you have had the opportunity to see him in person, you know what I mean. Day to day I see constant improvement. 

We need to be more conscious about our daily living. We gotta get back to the way we were when he first came home. Less outings and more time at home. We do not have a physical reminder daily of how fragile he is. He looks healthy, chubby and smiley. Sure he has a backpack that goes where he goes. That does not phase me anymore, it is just a part of him. We don't look at his feeding tube as a handicap or weakness. We love this little boy so much and will do anything to keep him healthy and thriving. 

In that trip to the ER I feel like I prayed more then, than I have in weeks. Isn't that the way it goes? You always pray more when in need, rather than when everything is going great? I shouldn't need that big of wake up call to know that God is in control. I thank God for all he has done for us and Gatlyn has he has been "kicking the odds in the face".

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