Working Mom Guilt

Let's get real the biggest feeling every working mom has is guilt. I'll be honest, I felt guilt for the first two or three months, but now about 9 months in of being a full-time working mom I really don't feel much guilt at all. Between just looking at reality and saying "this is the way it has to be," and actually admitting I like being a working mom, helps me to cope with about 50% of the guilt. The other 50% comes from the following rationalization I have in my head that is a mix of personal thought and thoughts from other working moms and mom blogs. Carrying on to explain said rationalization.....

So for some reason, there has always been this ongoing battle between working moms and stay-at-home moms (I recently saw someone refer to them has SAHMs, so we'll run with that. Like they are their own breed or something ;)). It's a true rivalry. Comparable to the fantasy football league in our family (That I am NOT a part of). AKA pointless, yet humorous at the same time. 

This is where the second 50% of my guilt comes in. Self examination like .... Am I any less of a mom because I hand Ruthie off to the best babysitter in the world everyday? Is Jamie or Mallorie any better of a mom than me because she is with their kids 24/7 of their life? Is Ruthie being denied the time she should have with her mom by having me home with her? Does Ruthie feel neglected because I make her go to Shannie's everyday? Is Ruthie not going to behave and have the things I hope to have instilled in her for life? Is Ruthie going to be worse off then kids who do get there mom home with them everyday? It's the kind of guilt that puts you in, as Ron Burgandy said it best, a glass case of emotion. 

So back to that rivalry.......

Of course, "each side feeling that their choice is the better one, each side ridiculing the other because their choice was different, each secretly (or not so secretly) harboring moments of guilt about their choice."

So who did it? Who made the right choice? Who has the more important job? Ummmm.... invalid questions in my eyes. If we can call this debate between these too professions then can we call it for other professions? Okay you tell me .....Which job is more important? The mailman who delivers your mail or your kid's teacher? Exactly. It doesn't even make sense to debate this. We would be screwed without either profession. Mailman, teacher, SAHM, working mom, potato, tomato. 

A blog I read put it best:

"Both moms are working moms. They are one in the same. One chooses to work in a building with others in and around their age group, and the other chooses to work in a home with a younger age group.Both are working. And both have the right to choose where they work…don’t they?"

Each have there own valid reasons. And there are some of the SAHM's reasons I for one who rather not deal with. 

I don't think either side should feel the slight bit of guilt. If you are happy with your choice, rock it. I think I'm to that point now where I am good to admit that I like being a working mom. Yeah, some days completely suck and you snap chat your sisters all day, showing them the cube you are stuck in or you have to text Shannie to ask her how your girl is doing to prompt a picture being sent. Or some nights it absolutely sucks when you had a day from hell at work and you come home no dinner made, a messy house, a workout waiting for you, and a little girl that nothing in the world would make her happy at the moment. 

But for more days then not I am good with going to work. I like the sense of accomplishment it gives me. I like having responsibilities outside the home that I can go deal with for 8 hours and then leave them in my little cube for the night or weekend and go home to Roo and Matt. 

More reasons I have learned I prefer being a working mom over a SAHM. 

-My patience level has dramatically decreased. If I stayed home, Roo would probably be in timeout more often then she should. 
-Waking up at 5:50 makes my days seem twice as long. Sucks on the weekdays, but it makes the weekend a little longer. 
-I like being able to buy things (and try not to feel guilty about it) like my new car!
-The drive into work (Lansing). I love the "me time" I get on my drive. Coffee in hand , usually the radio off, thinking, and watching the sun come up. Oh and can't forget to honk at moms.
-Ruthie absolutely LOVES her time at Shannies. I hear about it all night what she did, her Emma friend, fighting with aubs...haha I love the stories that come from that house.
-That moment we pull into Shannies driveway and Roo says "Here's my Shannies house!!!! My fweinds not here yet mom, but later!!"
-And that moment I open the door to pick her up and she screams "MY MOMS HERE!!!" and I get the bigger hug than the day before.

So to conclude this massive rant of personal feelings I say if your happy with your choice, if you know what you are doing is best for your family, OR if you know what you are doing is best for your own sanity......SO BE IT. No guilt shall be felt. 

And let's stop thinking we're better than each other. 

What Time Without Bloggin' Tells Ya

So it's been awhile eh? Yes, this is one of those "Sorry we were gone, but now we are back. Better than ever" posts. :) Blunt honesty will tell you that I was just tired of blogging.

BUT you know what time without blogging tells you? . . . How much you LOVE blogging and how much you MISS blogging. For me (well for us) blogging isn't so much about "how many page views, how many comments, and so on. It's about laying it out there. Voicing our thoughts and sharing our lives. I am always up for a good excuse to brag about my awesome life. ;) And if you relate to someone and help them out on the way, that's just the maple syrup on top of the sundae. I don't like cherries.

So I guess it would be the right thing to do to start off with an update otherwise you might be totally lost. My life is just so cool ya know.

I still have my presh of a girl Ruthie of course! :) She is 2 1/2 now and on the verge of 16. Seriously... a door slammed the other day. But looking around the few naughty moments I like to remind myself every kid has, Ruthie is the most sweetest, kind, polite little girl. You know how they say at some point you will start seeing yourself in your kids and not realize you act that way and it will be scary? Yeah....I've learned that I must be a huge suck up. And a terrible dancer. Ruthie is so nice she is dancing the line of that's too nice you're just sucking up. And Matt will most likely be right...a teacher's pet she shall be.

Prime example: The other day I getting ready in the bathroom....
Ruth: "Mom, you look willy pwetty!"
Mamma: "Aww thank you Roo."
Ruth: "you look wike Pwincess Sophia!!!"

I guess I'd rather have that way than any other way. Sure does boost my confidence. She still loves her animals, can't comprehend colors, big fan of Princess Sophia, and has one consistent favorite thing...chicken and rice. Weird. (I can make that joke, she's my daughter)

Here's a pic of my little doll face in case you miss the millions I plaster on Facebook and Instagram. She truly is a beaut.

 I am entering into my third year at Auto Owners Insurance Company. I am blessed to be part of such a great and caring company. Loving what I do and doing what I've gotta do to support who I love. :) Roo and I are in our 7th month of being in our apartment in Lake Odessa. It truly is the perfect fit for us right now and the attached garage might be my favorite.

I don't really say much about this dude on social media, just the occasional photo of the two of us so I can prove to you all he still exists. He truly is the bomb.com and I must say it's quite handy to have a handy man. Big part of Roo and I's life, so of course I have to put him in here. Matt is his name if ya don't know. Three words to describe him: Selfless, Hardworking, Random.

Perhaps a day to day update will come later but this post is getting long enough already. But this was a good start I'd say. Be looking out for J and Mal's updates as well!!

Happy Holidays everyone! Have a Merry Christmas!

xoxo- Alexis

April Love List

Here's a few things we loved about April.

Alexis:Potty training success for Roo, purchase and redo to come of that rad chair (grad gift!), nice weather to play outside, graduation of course!

Jamie: Love Bean's new floppy hat, the wedding of one of my oldest friends, family fun day at Tangle Town and the March for Babies walk

Mallorie: The girls got to wear their new Easter outfits, nice long walks outside, date night was a wedding, and the March for Babies walk:)

Help a Frame Out?

Probably three months ago I was given this wonderful semi-sad gold frame. I am always up for something free and its a bonus I am more of a gold gal then silver, so obviously we were meant to be. A combo of me not knowing what I wanted to put in it and not having the time to complete it, the frame still sits lonely and empty on the wall in my bedroom.

So help a lonely depressed frame and a torn frame owner out. I have narrowed it down to 4 possibly 5 things I want to put it in it.

1. The Great Outdoors : I want to have art on my walls eventually in the make believe house in my head. I really like this piece at Mammoth & Company, along with a number of other prints there. But this one the most.

2. Dream Catcher Watchya macallit: I came across this on Pinterest one day. I used to draw a lot in high school and a year or two after. So my thoughts are to maybe start back up again and take a portion of this dream catcher (which totally reminds me of my indian sister Jamie...there is a story there...) and redraw it.

3. Instagram Framed Art: Instagram is obviously one of my favorite apps. And we all know I get a little crazy taking and posting pics, so I have plenty to frame. Personally I think life would be a little prettier and more enjoyable if we all just wore "Walden" contact lenses (which filter do you prefer?) I also recently found an app "Printicular" which allows you to send Instagram photos to Walgreens to get them printed. If your like me, my iphone has somehow stolen my ability to use a regular camera so most of Ruthie's life is on my phone. It's like .39 a photo, but I don't scrap book or anything like that so in my book its justified.

4. A Simple Pic:  I have thought about just putting a large blown up photo of Roo or Ruthie & I to put in it.

So it's a free of charge poll, you are welcome. Which should I put in my big lovely lonely gold frame?? #1-#4????

Lambs' Gate Antiques

So remember here when I talked about all of the stuff I wanted to do because I have so much time on my hands. Surprisingly I am doing it. Thrifting or antiquing whatever ya wanna call is one of my favorites. I like old stuff and I like to dig through the shops to find the really neat treasures that everyone else doesn't want. Sometimes I leave it as is and other times I make it something else. I am so excited to be able to do more of this. Last week the child and I went and ran some errands and decided to check out a shop in Grand Ledge called "Lambs' Gate." There's one in Old Town too which I must go to very soon.

Gahhhhhhhh so in love with so many things there.

I will be going back to purchase that rad chair in the top left. I have been drooling and dreaming over the ones in the bottom left on Etsy. So finding this baby has me super excited. For some reason $30 seems a lot easier to swallow than $375. A simple recover in that nice emerald green (which is this years color btw) will pair perfectly with my sweet green lamp I scored at a garage sale last summer for 2 bucks. 

I probably won't buy the lamp to the left, but someone should. And then they should recreate that to die for night stand by my fav designer Emily Henderson.

I will however be buying the brass elephant book ends and they will look so good holding the books that I will never read. The adorable padded box in the top middle was called a wallpaper box on the tag. Not quite sure what that is but it screamed toy box to me. Birthday present for my sweet cheeks? That chair is pretty sweet & it had a partner in crime as well. The fabric's not my style so I would deff freshin' it up. That couch. (sorry the pic sucks) But that couch someone should buy. It has sweet lines and needs saving from the nasty barf black leather. I really kind of hope that obnoxious orange table hangs around until I have a house. It looks like a picnic table but its not. Those benches pull out. Can't you see it stripped to its original wood and throwing some sweet chairs at the end for the bosses of the table?

Let me know if you guys like these posts or if they are a total bore. But until I hear otherwise I will continue to share my hobby. :)

I Gots the Time Meow

First off lets ignore the fact that I just said "meow" up there....Let's now transfer thoughts to the fact that I am done with school forever. Best. Feeling. Ever. Now on to the "fun" of transferring to full time (which I actually am really looking forward too) and I guess find a place of my own for my sweet cheeks Roo and I. I really don't know why I'd rush it tho, I mean who would buy me EM J's, make the coffee in the morning, do my laundry, cook me dinner, and bring me a crying child when I am in such a deep sleep I don't hear her screaming across the hall. Just kidding, it's time. My gracious parents have put up with me long enough.

Anyways.... on to the purpose of the post. Probably throughout 99.99% of the time I was completing my degree I said a billion million trillion versions of..."Once I'm done with school I will have time to ___________ ." Well folks that time has come, so lets make a list of things I can do (but lets be real I probably won't) because I have the time now.....

Things I have been wanting to do

• Dig into my "call me crafty if you may" board on Pinterest
• Learn to Knit
• Break out my sewing machine again
• (I am aware of how old lady all the above things sound at the moment)
• Finnish the book The Shack
• Make make-up remover
• Exercise (possibly join a class)
• Thrift more
• Keep my room clean
• Actually do my daily devotional
• Do fun stuff with the child
• Vacuum/clean, wash, and get my car an oil change
• Eat better
• Keep my nails painted
• Blog

By the way, I am aware of how slightly pathetic a lot of those sound and how even more pathetic the fact  that I used school as an excuse not to do them is. But heres to a new season of life, a full time working mom, Cheers!

1 Thing

We imagine that everyone has something they wish they would have known before starting to have kids. So, we're asking ourselves and you, if you could go back and tell yourself only one thing, before the birth of your first child, what would it be?

Mallorie, remember to remain true to yourself. Just because you have kids now doesn't mean your life ends. Take a night out after Jo goes to bed, try not to feel guilty. You are doing a good job. Load Jo up and go see your friends, they would love to see her too! Have fun and enjoy it all. Oh and seriously take those naps people say you should.

Jamie: I would tell pre-baby Jamie, not to be so hard on her body. And to embrace it while she still had perky boobs, no stretch marks or muffin top and didn't almost wet herself if she sneezed. Sure, I can get rid of the muffin top, but those other things, I'm afraid might just be permanent damage. 

Alexis: I was always one of those pre-baby ladies who was like "I will always dress my child so cute, trendy & yadda yadda yadda." Sooo I would probably just slap the pre-baby Alexis right across the face and say "Hey! All of those cute clothes you want for your baby from Gap, Zara, Target, H&M, Zulilly, Crazy8, or Old Navy are probably are not going to happen. So bless your middle sisters sweet soul for handing down all of those hand me downs, so your broke ass can put gas in your car." 

Easter 2013

Growing up, I always really liked getting new Easter dresses. Even if our mom always made us wear matching outfits. Last year Love Bean wore a dress that her Grammy Krenz got her. This year I took the bean shopping and she got to pick out her own dress. And by that mean I held up two that I liked and she pointed to one.

Hubs and I decided to approach her Easter basket goodies the same way we approach most things, by setting a budget.  We decided on $40, which kind of sounds like a lot, but it adds up quick. We had talked about a few different things to include, but all that went out the window when I was in Target. I found a Minnie Mouse beach towel, and knew the bean would love it! She's really into Mickey Mouse Clubhouse right now. So I went with a little bit of a beach/outdoor fun theme for her basket. And of course some chocolate for good measure. We spent Easter attending church and then heading to Hillsdale to spend time with the Krenz family.

Easter has always been one of my favorite holidays. Between the ham, deviled eggs, and gma b's potato salad and of course Jesus dying in the cross to save us from our sins and on top of that rising from the dead it's a pretty good day :) We alternate holidays and this year Ruth wasn't with us which resulted in me mourning over the adorable dresses. We still did eggs and her Easter basket tho! Her Easter basket (which was mine as a wee one) was filled with necessities and favs: New toothbrush and toothpaste, big girl underwear, flavored tootsie rolls, sidewalk chalk, and three shirts. I really don't know why it is but every time I see a shirt with a dog or cat on it I buy it for Roo. It's probably the running in place, smile from ear to ear, "OOOooo!!!!!" I get every time. But other then that the lover boy and I had a triathlon of Easters in which we consumed to much food. But that's okay,YOLO. ( that YOLO was 100% sarcastic btw)

Then there is the Schrock's:) I love Easter, but basically I love all Holidays. This year was an important year though. Now that Jo is 5 and really figuring things out it was more important than ever to make sure she knew why we have Easter. So I made that a real goal. We actually rarely talked about Easter Baskets. You should have seen her face the day before when she figured out he brought things. It was great. We also had an egg hunt at Nanner and Poppy's (our mom and dad) and the kids loved that. Us girls couldn't believe how long it took them to get the eggs picked up. There was definitely a lack of intensity on the kids part;)

I want to make sure she knows what is really going on. This year was the first year of that. We read the Easter story out of the bible. But more so talked about the important things. (Jesus died for OUR sins, Who is Jesus dad, the cross, how many days before he arose again , and of course that he loves us)

Easter baskets I went a little overboard, but, lets be real. I was gonna buy that stuff anyway, so why not shove it in the basket:) My ladies received the same things with different patterns; umbrellas, raincoats, sunglasses, sperry's (shoes) and an egg of M&Ms. Gat got a puzzle, book, and a back of big rubbery cars.

Hope you all had a great Easter and remember all that was sacrificed for us<3

Hello Again!

Our last post was on February 7th. So, you could say it's been awhile. Blogging has been a little bit of a roller coaster for us all. Usually, at least one us was up, to keep things going while another one (or two) we're feeling uninspired and down about things. That wasn't the case this time. The three of us were all overwhelmed and uninspired at the same time—hence our two month hiatus. Hopefully we haven't lost too many of you :)

We've thought long and hard about what this blog means to us, and whether or not we want to continue it. We realize that we aren't the best writers, spellers, and none us punctuate correctly. We know we're a small blog, and the time and energy we invest doesn't make us money. But that wasn't the idea behind Twenty Something Mamas. It started out as a place for the three of us to express ourselves. To share our hopes, struggles, goals, to keep us sane and to share a little bit of our lives with whoever was interested in reading. And that's what we want to get back to when we're writing.

That being said, we also write this blog for you. We want our posts to be ones that you enjoy reading and to keep you coming back for more. We'd love for our readership to grow. And the best way to make that happen is to write about stuff you all like to read about. So, we're asking you to please share with us in the comments or on our Facebook page; What are your favorite types of posts? What don't you like reading? Is there anything else you want to us to know?

Thanks for reading. We appreciate it. And know that we're back with determination and dedication to stay at it.

Confessions of a Single Mama: Role Models

Its crazy to think that it has almost been a year since I became a single mama (it was in February, but close enough). 2012 was a rough/crazy/tough year to say the least, so 2013 is welcomed with HUGE open arms. As I think back to the events of last year I think about how I was feeling at that time and one word describes it all, struggling. 

I was struggling with being in an unhealthy environment and relationship and with that came the struggle of handling the pressure to remain in that relationship. What I mean by that is, I was struggling to find the courage to get myself & Ruthie out of that situation. I was struggling with the idea of what people would say about me and if they would believe me, I was struggling with the idea of what my family would think of me, I was struggling with the fact that Ruthie would not have a father 24/7, I was struggling with the fact that Ruthie would not have her biological family together ever again, I was struggling with my self esteem and self confidence, I was struggling with well..... I think you get the point.

As I look back now I ask myself, "How and where did I find the courage to get out?" I can honestly 100% say that I know if came from the male role model in my life, my Dad. Some people would question this and say it was probably the female role model in your life. While that most likely played a role too I think this is true; in a girl's life the female role model in their life teaches them what they should expect out of a man and the male role model teaches them what they deserve.

Growing up and still to this day, my Dad taught us girls how a man should treat a woman. Whether that may be his mom, his Grandma, his sister, his daughter, his girlfriend, or his wife. He did this in many ways but mainly by example. He treats my mother like a queen and his daughters like princesses and that is no exaggeration.

A male role model plays a larger role then just showing how a man should treat a woman but also just in general showing his daughters what makes a man, a man. My dad exemplifies that a man provides, protects, respects, supports, and is faithful to his family.

I am thankful for my Dad and the example he plays in my life. Because of him I was able to recognize that the situation I was in was wrong and was nothing what I deserved.

This large thought process, self reflection, or whatever you want to call it came to me when I was thinking about and talking to Jamie about why girls stay in abusive relationships? Why do girls stay with guys that don't treat them like they deserve? Like I said above I really think it stems from the lack of a positive male role model in their life. I know this may not be the case in all situations. 

I am glad that I found the courage to remove Ruth and I. Sometimes I think about what if I stayed and "toughed" it out so Ruthie could have her family? The same answer results every time; the cycle would have continued. Ruthie would have grown up thinking, that is a way a man should treat a woman and a woman is supposed to just deal with it, and so on with her children and their children.

I think a positive consistent male role model in a little girls life is so important. Whether that be a Dad, a Grandpa, a boyfriend, or an Uncle. I remember thinking at one point that Ruth & I would never need another man in our life again. But as you can see I am realizing we do and I am thankful that Ruth as two of those, Ba (my dad) & Maa (Matt). Men....can't live with em', can't live without em'. ;)

I hope this reached out not only to our female readers but also our male readers! :)

xoxo - Alexis

Confessions of A Single Mama: Double Mama Drama

Well I am sorry to say I might have lied to you here when I told you dating might be the hardest thing about being single mom. That's turned out to be pretty easy compared to the thought of your kid having somewhat of a second mom. Now that feeling S.U.C.K.S.

About a month after we separated (I'm really not 100% sure on the time frame) Ruthie's Dad told me that he had a girlfriend. The thought of him being in a relationship already did not surprise me and didn't upset me personally at all however the thought of Ruthie being around another woman besides me in a mother/daughter atmosphere made me absolutely sick to my stomach. I hated thinking that Ruthie might think of someone other then me as her mom or that if they were all out in public someone might think Ruthie was hers...I mean obviously she gets her good looks from me right? ;) Anyway, there are a lot of struggles that come with this and my first reaction was not allowing them to see each other at all. I did not want said girlfriend around her and I told Ruthie's dad that they were not to see each other unless the relationship was serious. Honestly I think I just needed some time to cope with the fact that Ruthie may have a second mom and I was convinced the relationship was a short term thing. That's another thing I was worried about, I didn't want Roo to have a life of people in and out, so I wanted her dad to figure out if this was actually something serious.

Well it took me awhile to get over this, but eventually I realized whether I like it or not, someday I am eventually going to have to deal with it and get over this, I got myself in this situation. So I told myself to get over it an stop being such a stubborn biotch. Well that was done and turned out to be somewhat easy, but then soon after that came the question of, "Can said girlfriend pick her up for me and keep her for a couple hours until I get out of work?" "WHAT ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME, HELL NO!!"...is what went through my head and possibly out loud. No way was I going to let someone I hardly even knew take my daughter alone and take care of her. If her dad couldn't pick her up then that is on him, not me.

Well then of course, I took my time to deal with it and looked at the reality of it. Someday I will have to accept that this will probably happen on both my end and his. My guilty conscience kicked in too. Ruthie goes to her dad's every other weekend, so if she misses one weekend with him then she won't see him for two weeks in a row and only 2 days that whole month. I want her to see her dad if he is going to be there and be consistent, so if I didn't let said girlfriend pick her up she wouldn't get to see him. This is when I realized I needed to swallow my pride for the sake of my daughter.

I think this a problem and struggle for a lot of single parents who have both parent's still in the picture. Sometimes it is really really super hard to swallow your pride and let the other parent win for the lack of a better word. We get so caught up in the fact that we want to come out on top, we want to be right, we want to be the one who ends up with the most that we forget to put our children first. I always tell myself even though I hate Ruthie's dad so much Ruthie is still going to love him and not matter how hard I try to keep her from him she is going to want to see him or will want to find him someday. So I just have to let her find out in her own way and form her own opinion about him because my opinion is definitely not going to be hers.

So anyways I let her pick Ruthie up that weekend but before we sat down for coffee and I voiced my concerns with her. I really hate to say this but it is true and some of you single mammas out there are probably struggling with this same topic so I am just going to fill you in. It was a blessing in disguise.

If any of you had rough pasts with your ex, like me, it may make you feel better to know that this girl will be there when you can't. I told her that I can't be there to protect Ruthie and I hope that she would step in if it ever came to that. Knowing that makes me feel a little bit better because it scares the crap out of me to know that I can't be there 24/7 for her.

Said girlfriend also asked me what Ruthie ate, what her schedule was, & when she took naps. She told me she hadn't been getting much of any naps and was on a macaroni & cheese diet the whole weekend. So I filled her in and that weekend Ruthie came home a much more rested, happier, and put together little girl. I didn't have to deal with the getting her back on a schedule or the bratty, tired, grumpy attitude. She came back with a smile on her face and her hair done all pretty :).

I am not going to lie it still isn't easy. Actually it is really annoying, stressful, really pisses me off when I see stasues and pictures of Ruthie with another girl, family, or even grandma. But I just have to remind myself it could be worse. She could not like Ruthie, treat her poorly, or neglect her. I have to remind myself every single day to be thankful that at least this girl and her family love Ruthie to pieces, that that they accept her as one of their own, and that they enjoy her as much as I do. That little girl is lucky to get quadruple the love, from Josh, Megan, Matt, & I.

Friday Family Favorites: Veggie Tales!

Veggie Tales is definitely Roo's favorite cartoon to watch. We probably watch it on average of 3 to 4 times a day. However keep in mind some of those are Ruthie dancing to the song she likes, leaving and playing, and then running back in to the living room as soon as she hears the next song she likes. It is getting fun to watch her get into movies and try to repeat some of the words they are saying. It's actually quite impressive she can say some of the lines right on que....or maybe that means to much screen time?? lol. Anyways we love the Veggie Tales movies because they; A. have great story lines . and B. They are fun & interactive and Roo LOVES to dance :) Keep in mind they would make great Christmas gifts!!

Mama's Cookin: Spicy Thai Beef

A quick easy go to meal that is simple and delicious. This recipe is great for those nights or afternoons when you really don't feel like or know what to cook and your to feeling to cheap to order out :). It's a fav in both the Krenz and my household. Enjoy!

Spicy Thai Beef
3/4 lb ground beef
1/2 onion, chopped
6 green onions, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 tsp crushed red pepper
3 carrots, thinly sliced
1/2 red bell pepper, chopped
1 cup rice
2 TB soy sauce
1 tsp Asian fish sauce
1/3 cup fresh chopped cilantro

I would just like to say I have made this various times with various combinations due to the lack of ingredients and it has turned out delicious every time.  I have never made is with the Asian fish sauce because I never have it. Sometimes Jamie adds celery in hers. Matter of fact I have never made it with the cilantro either. Hahaha maybe I should try making it correctly myself?

Heat a heavy medium post over high heat. Add beef and saute until browned. Add onion, green onion, garlic, crushed red pepper, and 1 TB of soy sauce. Saute another 2 minutes. Add carrots, red pepper, rice, 2 cups water, fish sauce (is using) and remaining soy sauce. Reduce to low heat cover and simmer for 20 minutes. Add cilantro and mix well and keep covered for 10 more minutes.

WARNING: It does slightly look like dog food (thats why I am not including a picture :)) but I promise you it tastes better. I like to throw a little hot sauce on mine, but to each their own!

September Love List

Like last month, this September we all have pretty similar Love Lists. So, we're just doing one joint list.

• Stella turns 1 on the 20th!
• Family vacation in South Haven
• Little brother turns 20 on the 25th
• Our cousin Kasey is getting married
• Mallorie's new Pampered Chef venture
• Mallorie and Jamie start their Fantasy Football league
• Season premiers of some of our favorite TV shows (Modern Family and Once Upon A Time)
• Jamie's friend is getting married
• Baby shower for another one of Jamie's friends

Family Favorite: Movie

If your looking for a good movie, like literally a good ass movie, you MUST watch Warrior. I have watched this movie no lie 6 times this year. That's because I insist people watch it an then of course I have to watch it with them. This movie will make you laugh, cry, scream, cheer, and yes maybe even stand up and clap.

It is about two brothers and UFC/MMA fighting. Ladies, don't let that scare you off if its not your thing, I guarantee the story line will have you emptying a box of tissues.

I know its a great movie because even my dad liked it! He's hard to please in the movie category but he loved it, mostly because he couldn't predict it. At the beginning of the movie he said "this that and that is going to happen, but I will watch it anyway," along with an eye roll. But let me to tell you, I just smiled and laughed inside the whole movie because, HE WAS WRONG!

So if your bored stuck inside this chilly fall weekend, rent a movie and grab some popcorn, and if you're like us a Speedway fountain pop, and watch Warrior.

Enjoy some pics from the movie to get a little sneak peek. Don't be alarmed by the abnormal beast like shoulders Tommy has.

Have any favorite movies that you vote a must see?! Please share, I love a good movie :) And let me know what if ya think of Warrior!

-Alexis

Family Favorite Fridays is a new series, every Friday we'll be posting one of our family favorites, it could be anything, like a game, book, recipe or song.

Confessions of a Single Mamma: Dating

Dating. What I have found to be the most challenging, scariest, and hardest part so far in my journey of being a single mom. 

I swear to you all it is like a roller coaster ride of emotions and feelings. One day totally against the idea and the next wanting it. Harder in the beginning more so then currently I will say. So many thoughts run through my head. 

Am I ready? 

How can I leave Ruthie for a date when I'm all she's got? 

What guy is going to want a kid that isn't his? 

How do I go about introducing Ruthie to someone? 

What if that he sucks with kids? 

What if I get hurt again? 

What guy is going to want the body of a girl, post-baby? 

What kind of guy would be okay with my past? 

How could I trust someone again? 

What if Ruthie doens't like him? 

All guys are the same, so why bother? 

And like I said in my previous post, it's easier being just Ruthie & I, we are able to avoid all of those worries up there. This is probably 1/4 of the craziness I had going through my head for a couple months. But to sum it all up in one corny word. I was simply scared. 

So back in June I thought to myself okay I think I am ready. I had gotten asked out on some dates previously but turned them all down, so I told myself to keep my mind open about the idea next time. Well a week later I hear from an old friend and he asks me if I'd like catch up. I decided to go, freaking out the day of and afraid that I forgot how to socialize with someone other then a 1 year old. I went and had a GREAT time, he was true gent the whole date, and everything came so easy talking to him.  After that we hung out a few more times and then what do I do? I freak out . . . go me. The feelings above all came rushing back and the guilt of leaving Ruthie hit me like a brick wall. For goodness sakes I freaked out about some flowers he left me, the first thought I had run through my mind was "what does he want?" My sisters checked me and said "orrr maybe he just wanted to let you know he's thinking about you?" I decided I wasn't ready, clearly I don't know how to handle those emotions yet and I needed to figure that out before I could continue. So I told him I thought I was ready to start dating again but I am not and I need a little more time to get things sorted out. Like the kind fellow he is he responded "I totally understand, just promise you'll let me know when your ready, whenever it is." 

After that I began to think about all those crazy worries and thoughts & tried to turn each of them from worries to statements. 

I'll know when I'm ready. 

Don't feel guilty for taking time for yourself. 

Any guy who wouldn't want the cutest kid ever is crazy. 

I'll know when its time to introduce Ruth. 

All guys are awkward with kids at some point. 

Not every guy hurts girls. 

What guy wouldn't want the kick ass personality that comes with this post-baby body? 

A good guy will understand my past.  

Trust is something you can build.  

Who doesn't Ruthie like? 

All guys are the same, so why bother? ...... but some could be different.

August 15th was the finalization of the divorce. That day I felt a rush of closure, it felt so good. I think I will probably remember that day for the rest of my life, because I can remember on my ride home thinking of everything I have been through and where I am now. I thought of how I got there and where I have been and I thought of where I never ever wanted to go again. That day my thoughts became a little clearer, paths and boundaries became easy for me to establish. That day I started to feel in control again. It was the best. feeling. ever. 

I knew then that I was ready, but I had only talked to the June guy like once or twice during that time so I wasn't sure what to think and slightly embarrassed of my previous freak out so I didn't contact him. However coincidence or not that weekend I was in South Haven sitting at the table doing a puzzle and I look down at my phone to see "HI :)" . . . . from June guy. 

Since then we have been talking, dates, & hanging out, and things are going super well. He is a true gentlemen and makes me smile on the daily. Taking things really slow we are building a great relationship. I do find myself still struggling with sometimes being on reserve when the fears creep back in but I know that is okay.  

I came across this from a blog that I read . . . Its a great quote for anyone going through any type of struggle or running away from anything in their past, I look at it everyday. 

"Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky, but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when are brave enough to explore the darkness will discover the infinite power of our light."

~Bené Brown

I can't believe at one point in my life I didn't want anything to do with love, belonging, or joy. 

Extra Love

It's Friday and I'm feeling extra generous today so I'll give ya two posts! ;) Or I am just really bored because I don't have Roo this weekend.

We met up with Ruthie's Lola (Grandma) today as it is her weekend to go to her dads. We meet half way in between his house and my house, which is Howell, to make the switch. The bonus, yet potential downside, of this location is the outlet mall! Jamie and Stella decided to tag along and do some damage at the mall while we waited. We found some great deals, so I thought I would share our findings with you. In my defense, "Of course Ruthie & Stella pretty much begged us for everything, so we couldn't say know." In Jamie's defense, "Tim you don't wanna know the damage I could have done so just be thankful for what you don't see."

Top Left: Stella's finds. Royal blue jeans and flower tank from Old Navy and stripe tank from Gap.
Top Right: Ruthie's finds. Flower T-shirt from Gap and orange polka dot leggings from Gymboree (which she will wear as part of her Halloween costume)
Bottom Left: Stella's find. Black stripe in a 2T that she decided to wear as a dress right now and a shirt next summer!
Bottom Right: Ruthie's finds. Yellow jeans and "Its good to be a girl" tank from Gap.

Both of them made out pretty good Ruthie paying a total of $30 and Stella $36.

Fresh Air and Fresh Eyes

This week my mom and dad have been at the beach house in South Haven so instead of staying at the house alone Roo and I have been crashing at Auntie J, Uncle Tim, and Stella's house.

So anyways, Monday and Tuesday we sat inside being lazy all day with our girlies. We sat there for hours in Jamie's dark living room on Facebook and Pinterest which can also translate to sitting their talking about how much we wish we had, what we wish we looked like, what we wish we could eat or basically talking about how much we suck at life. It was a rather depressing two days.

Wednesday, I said OK WE NEED TO GET OUT AND DO SOMETHING INSTEAD OF SITTING HERE FEELING SORRY FOR OURSELVES! We decided we were being ungrateful little, well I'll just say it, brats the two days before. So we got the girls packed them up and went to the park. I must say just getting outdoors and getting some fresh air and actually doing something instead of sitting inside has a big impact. It felt good to get out and the park was a cheap way to do that. So Thursday we got Mal on board and we all went to the pool.

Moral of the story: Sometimes some fresh air and some fresh eyes are all you need to see life a little differently. Well all know once in a while we all need a little reminder that sanity still exists.

20 Questions: Alexis

My turn to play 20 questions :) Be sure to stay tuned weekly as we will be having guest appearances from other 20 Something Mammas, starting next Tuesday!!!!

Tell us a little about who makes your house a home.

Well I live with my parents. So of course there is…

Mamma: She is the best cook you’ll ever meet and is OCD about her laundry. Which I am ok with because that means I can’t do it ;) She is a stay at home wife and Nanner.

Pappa Bear: Also known as Ba to Ruthie and Poppy to Andi and Rae, Stella and gat have yet to pick a name. He is a hardworking, as he likes to put it, “Agricultural Businessman” aka a farmer. Really though he is fun and easy to pick on when he’s home, especially when he sits on his Ipad all night and plays solitaire.  

Ruthie: A sweet and very busy 1 year old who has the cutest personality and never fails to put a smile on your face. I may be a little bit biased tho! She loves blueberries, animals, ranger rides with Ba, being outside, food, and the book Brown Bear Brown Bear.

Me: Your average girl handling life one day at a time.

Oh and don’t forget Ruthie’s fish, and her bunny Cheez-it.

What's a typical day in your household like?

Lets just talk about a good day ;) you don’t want to here about the bad, trust me. But seriously, most days Ruthie and I both sleep in to about 830-9ish. I wake up to her yelling MAAA MA down the hall. We get up and I fix Ruthie breakfast, her usual, two eggs and a half of bagel with her Auntie J’s homemade blueberry jam. From there it varies each day depending on the calendar. But most of the time it involves one of two things Ruthie playing a lot and me doing homework or Ruthie playing with all her cousins and me chatting with all my sisters and mother. Don’t forget the much needed 9:30am to 12pm and 2:30ish to 5pm naps! Around 4:30 I say goodnight to Roo if she’s up and head to work and come home around 10pm and she’s fast asleep for the night. I stay up doing more homework and then go to bed around 12.

How has your lifestyle changed since having children?

I would say I am more of a homebody. I prefer to stay home, I only like to go out on a rare occasion. I used to be your typical college girl but becoming a mom has put different priorities in my life and I am okay with that.

Have you ever felt the need to defend your decision to start a family in your 20's?

I often feel threatened by other people my age thinking I am crazy or making comments of how they don’t understand why people our age are having kids or getting married. Personally I think just like a race, everyone takes life at it’s own pace but we all end at the same finish line. So I feel that area could be a little more respected.

What's the most challenging thing about being a mom, and what's the most rewarding?

The most challenging I would have to say are the tantrums. I am not going to lie I find them rather annoying and especially embarrassing when in public places. The most rewarding is (this may be a little harsh) the cry when I leave for work because I know she doesn’t want me to go and she’ll miss me. But besides that I love just watching Ruthie play by herself. It is quite hilarious and I love watching her figure out things for herself.

How are household chores divided up in your family?

My mom does A LOT of it and I am expected to help out. I admit sometimes I fall short, but don’t worry I am put into place when I do. Not directly, short humorous remarks are made and let’s just say I get the hint. But I do most of the errand running since I go to town the most and when asked to do something I make sure to do it without complaining about it.

How do you find a balance between your commitments and family time?

In order to do this well I have to keep good time management. Some weeks are worse then others but most of the time it works great for me. Ruthie takes two naps, so I try to designate those times for homework. That way when she is up I can keep up with her busy self. Other then that Ruthie is really the only relationship I have to balance so it really isn’t to bad.

What's your most embarrassing mom moment??

I have lots but probably the most embarrassing was when I went back for my 6-week check after I had Ruth. She went with me and while we were waiting for the doctor I smelt a nasty poopy diaper. I decided I had time to change her so I put her on my lap to do it. I was holding her legs up and bent down to get a new diaper form the diaper bag when Ruthie decided she wasn’t done and shot diarrhea all up the front of me. It was disgusting. I hurried got her changed and attempted to wipe all the crap off of me. The doc came in and I said, “don’t mind the large stain on my shirt and the awful smell, there was an accident.” I then had to proceed to walk out through a full waiting room with the “I just got shot with poop” look on my face and shirt.

Who (or what) has influenced your parenting style the most?

I would say my mom because she has helped me out a tremendous amount since the beginning and always seems to be the first person I ask when I have a question. But when I think about what type of parent I want to be I find myself searching and paying attention to the bad parents and the naughty kids. I look at what they are doing I say I will NOT be doing that!

Since becoming a mom how have your friendships changed?

Have you made new friends, strengthened friendships, or lost friends?

Since my freshnman year of college I have had the same three really close friends and I am proud to say since becoming a mom I still have them. They have been there from the beginning and haven’t ever left and for that I love them to death. It would have been easy for them to leave since we had only known each other for a year and a half and we all live more then a hour away but they didn’t. I would say after you become a mom you find which are true friends. I know Natalie, Alissa, and Bunny (yes that is just a nickname) are true friends because our relationship doesn’t take any work. I can not speak to them for weeks and pick up right where we left off. They respect my feelings and decisions as a mom and don’t tempt me or give me a hard time for not going out but at the same time they are there the moment I decide I need a night out. They love Ruthie to pieces. They feel more like sisters than friends.

I would say I have made new friends. I have more in common with people who are moms as well so it is easy to talk and relate to those women. I attended a MOPS group this past year, which has really helped me find friends who I can relate to.

How do you fit in time for your romantic relationship?

I don’t have one nor am I looking for one.  I don’t really want to handle the amount of stress that that question sounds like it has.

What's one piece of advice you have for future/new moms?
So I heard this piece of advice but I never believed it. "They grow up fast, so enjoy it while they are little." But seriously, it goes SO fast. I can't believe Ruthie is already a little toddler :( So really embrace those naps where they will still lie on your chest because before you know it they don't want you to be a pillow anymore, you will be a jungle gym. 

What's your childcare set-up and why does it work for you?

My mom watches Ruthie for me while I am at work, and if she can’t one of my sisters steps up. It works great because after I leave Roo is up for at least 2 more hours and then heads to bed. Being home where her bed is allows her to keep a sane schedule and consistency, which is good for her. When I go full time I will be looking into some type of day care or nanny.

Do you ever get time to yourself?

Yes, having one child I find naptime as a time for myself. I also try to let myself go have fun without Ruthie, although I usually flake at the last moment, whether this is pedis with my mom and sisters or a night with my friends. I think it is harder for a working mom to push aside the guilt of leaving her kid for the night because we already leave them for a period of time everyday during the week. But I do think working mom or not it is important to get some “me time.”

What was the biggest adjustment after baby was born?

Going somewhere. Sounds simple but before I had a baby if I wanted to go somewhere I just had to get up get dressed and go. Now I have to wake up at least an hour earlier so I can feed her, bathe her, dress her, pack her diaper bag. Then it involves loading her in the car the stroller in the car and unloading her when you get there. Sometimes it just easier to stay home.

Has having children changed your relationship with food?

I have never been a picky eater. I eat or try most of anything. I do think this has influenced the way I feed Ruthie. I let her try anything I am eating and she always likes it. I go in spurts where I try to be healthier and when I am in those spurts I find myself giving Roo healthier options too. I should probably do that more often.

What are your plans for your child's education? 

I haven’t really thought about it too much I guess it depends on how Ruthie is doing when it comes time to make those decisions and what my working situation is.

How is discipline handled in your family?

I handle all discipline unless Ruthie is alone with my parents they are involved to. Ruthie does see her dad most every other weekend but he informed me the other week that his time out chair involved a comfy chair with gold fish crackers…. good luck with that! My outlook, which was also formed with a conversation with Jamie, is that right now Ruthie is testing boundaries to see what she can get away with and what she can’t. So it is important for me to establish those boundaries and that’s what we are working on now. If she is doing something wrong I first tell her no and if she doesn’t listen I’ll remove her from the situation. If she goes back and does it again I then use the time out chair. She sits there and I stand by her with a not so nice look. Once she calms down I talk to her and end with a kiss. I know she probably can’t comprehend this 100% right now but I think we are on the right track, she has shown improvements.

If you could change one thing about your current set-up, what would it be?

I like living with my parents don’t get me wrong. But I hate the feeling of being dependent on someone other than myself. I would love to get Ruthie and I a place of our own, but I know right now I could not provide that without help so I am saving, saving, saving so I can once I graduate. Then I will feel accomplished and truly feel I can do this on my own.

Finish this sentence, Before having kids, I wish I would have known... how incredibly hard it is to say no when there are cute clothes for little kids in almost every single store I walk into. I will be in a store have stuff for both Ruthie and I, but then I end up putting back mine so I can buy more cute stuff for her.