The Family Bed

This isn't actually in bed, it's on the couch

The thing about co-sleeping with an infant is that it leads to co-sleeping with a toddler, which isn't too bad until your co-sleeping with a toddler and another infant. A queen size suddenly feels small, like really small. Tim and I started growing very sick of getting kicked and ending up with random toddler limbs in our faces, and Angry Bean fell off the bed once...don't worry it was onto a pile of clothes (because I'm terrible at keeping our room clean), and she is completely fine. Maybe I shouldn't have share that last part?

What I'm getting at is unless our bed is suddenly looks like this one. It's time to kick Love Bean out.

Her bedtime is about 8:30/9:00pm, and we have always put her to sleep in her own bed. Generally our routine is this—she kisses daddy and Rosie goodnight, we head up to her bed to read a book, sing a couple lullabies, talk about how much Jesus loves her, and say her bedtime prayer. Then I lay with her until she falls asleep, because I can't resist the sweet "cuddle me mom" that she gives me. Then I go back downstairs.

Then around 2am every night, she would come in our bed for the rest of the night. This is what we decided had to stop. Now that Angry Bean is in our bed a lot of nights too, it's just too crowded. Overall the process was not as bad as I expected. Since she does start out in her own bed every night, I think it made things a little easier for us.

Night 1
I actually couldn't send her back to her room, she wasn't feeling the best, and I'm too much of a softy. I put her in our bed and explained that it was the last night she was going to get to sleep with us.

Night 2
She came into our room at her usual time. Tim took her back to her room, but that went horribly. I didn't want to be the mean parent, but she kept crying for me. We told her she could sleep on our floor, but of course she only wanted to be in the bed. I stayed strong and didn't let her. I took her back to her room and laid with her. We both ended up falling asleep, and about an hour later I woke up and went back to my bed.

Night 3
She was up twice. But both times I just took her back to her bed and laid with her until she fell back asleep. She cried the first time, but the second time there was no crying at all.

Night 4
She was up at her usual time, but didn't come into our room. She just stood outside the door asking for me. I took this is as a sign of progress. I took her back to bed and we both fell asleep. I went back to bed when I woke up a little while later.

Night 5
She was up at her usual time, but didn't come into our room. She just stood outside the door again. I think Tim actually got up and took her back to her room, and laid with her for a little bit.

Night 6
She didn't get out of bed until 5am! Love Bean is an early riser, so we had decided at the start of this process that if she came in our room after 5am we would let her snuggle in bed with us until we were all ready to get up for the day. So when she came in a 5am, I pulled her into bed with us and we told her how proud we were that she stayed in her own bed until morning. We all fell back asleep until 8am (it was a Saturday morning) and I'm not sure how we got either one of the girlies to sleep in that late!

Night 7
Rae spend the night with us, so her, Love Bean and I had a slumber party in the living room. I was worried that it would mess up all that progress we made.

Night 8
Again, she didn't get out of bed until 5am!

Night 9
She made it to 5:15am. We're feeling good. And man, it felt good to get two nights in a row of uninterrupted sleep.

I wouldn't say she's totally broke of the habit. A lot of nights she is still waking around 3am. But she no longer comes in our room. She stands outside our door and waits for me to come and tuck her back in. I think her waking up in the night has something to do with her sleep cycle, especially since it's at about the same time every night. I'm trying to encourage her to find a way to get herself back to sleep. I think not laying down with her at bedtime, would help this out a lot...so we've started working on that too.

We started co-sleeping with Love Bean while I was nursing. It made night time feedings easier. And we just never stopped. We have found with both our girlies, that sleeping with us during nights that they are fussy, calms them and helps them to sleep better. Angry Bean (and it was the same for Love Bean) always starts out in her crib, but if she becomes fussy or restless during the night, we put her in bed with us. Although, we are trying to do this less often than we did with Love Bean. Not sure I want to go through all of this again, when we have a third child. My family picks on me a lot about it, but no one really gives us a hard time or makes us feel like we're horrible parents for letting them sleep with us.

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I felt compelled to share this on the blog, after a couple of comments on my personal Facebook page. To sum up the comments—moms are shy about admitting to co-sleeping/bed sharing because it's a controversial parenting topic, it's tiring to hear about how hard the habit will be to break, it makes night time nursing easier.

I know there are some people who would suggest that I am putting my kids in danger. You are entitled to your opinion, I just ask that if you do comment here on the blog or on our Facebook page, that you are respectful. And would also ask that you remember the leading cause of child deaths is car accidents, but we don't think twice about driving our children everywhere.

When Breast Isn't Best

I have had two completely different breastfeeding experiences, and I really appreciate when other moms are open and honest about their breastfeeding experiences. Those are the two things have lead me to writing this post.

Love Bean 9/20/11

 While pregnant with Love Bean, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. In my head, I had built up how wonderful and natural it would be. After all, that's all I had heard. When she arrived, we did everything "the way you're suppose to" we had skin to skin immediately and tried nursing. Love Bean wasn't having any of it. The nurses knew I wanted to breastfeed, and were very helpful in trying to get her to latch and waiting as long as possible before suggesting we try a bottle so that she'd get something to eat. So Tim fed her, her first bottle at the hospital. I already felt like a failure. But I didn't give up that easily. We kept trying and eventually she got the hang of it.

Nursing went well, until it didn't. A few weeks in she suddenly wouldn't latch properly on the left side. No matter what I tried, it was painful and I had to wear a shield with every feeding. For whatever reason, I couldn't get in touch with the lactation consultant at the hospital, and I cried through many nursing session. Not exactly how I was imaging it would go. I stuck it out for 6 or so weeks, before we decided breast was not best for us. Switching to formula was the biggest relief. I didn't feel guilty, I knew I was making the right decision for my mental health, and therefor my baby.

Fast forward to July 2013

Angry Bean 7/1/13

 Not letting my previous experience deter me from trying again with Angry Bean, I resolved to try again—chalking up my bad experience to being an inexperienced new mom.

Right from the start things we completely different. I swear to you Angry Bean was born rooting. She found her way to by breast and started nursing almost immediately with very little help from me or the nurse. And aside from once in the middle of the night, she never had trouble getting a proper latch once. All I could think was, "Now this is exactly what I had imagined the first go round."

Things continued to go well after we were home. In fact at her first check-up she had almost gained a pound, when most newborns weigh in at close to birth weight, if not under it. 2 months went by and still things were great. She was gaining weight, happy and nursing on somewhat of a schedule. I was exclusively nursing, she hadn't even come near a bottle and I hadn't pumped at all. It was all going like I had imagined.

At about 3 months, she started nursing more often. At first I chalked it up to a growth spurt, but then she started seeming really small to me, and she didn't fill our her clothes as much. I remember my mom even commenting on how little she looked compared to another baby born around the same time as her. But, I wasn't overly concerned. Looking back, this is when she must have started losing weight. The week before her 4 month well child check-up she started wanting to nurse every two hours again. She hadn't done that since about a month old, plus she was much fussier than she had ever been. The day before her appointment she nursed every hour, and still didn't seem satisfied. I knew it was something I needed to bring up at her appointment.

Like usual, she was weighed at the beginning of her appointment. I knew something was definitely not right when the nurse weighed her again with a very confused look on her face. Rosalie weighed exactly the same, at 4 months as she had a 2 months. She had practically fallen off of the growth chart. Not good. It is so important for babies to have their nutritional needs met. Aside from helping the grow physically, it helps stimulate and make new connections in the brain. Her doctor made it clear that I needed to at least start supplementing with formula, if not make the switch completely. I needed to be able to come back in two weeks and say with certainty that she is eating X ounces every Y hours. Up to that point, I had no idea how much she was eating because she was almost exclusively nursing.

I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I cried at the doctor's office. But she was so understanding, and reassured me that it wasn't my fault. That just for whatever reason, sometimes moms just aren't able to keep up with the needs of their baby.

I tried pumping for a few days, but it would take me three or four sessions to just get enough for one bottle. And that combined with Love Bean getting into trouble or needing me every time I got the pump out, was enough for me to make the switch. After one day, you could see the change in Angry Bean. After we went exclusively to formula, she was back to being happy and content, no longer screamed through tummy time, she started staying awake for longer periods of time, and she developed more of a nap schedule. At her 2 week weight check she had gained a little over a pound. That solidified what I already knew, switching to formula was again best for my babe.

Angry Bean had her 6 month well child check-up today. She weighed in at 14lbs 12oz, and is now in back on the growth chart and in the 21st percentile. There are a few developmental things she seems to be a bit behind in, but nothing to be concerned about.

Tim and I will definitely be having more kids, and I will definitely try breastfeeding again. But I think it's important for moms—especially those of us who have tried, and for whatever reason switched to formula—to be open and honest about our experiences. Breastfeeding is a tough job, being a mom is a tough job. We shouldn't add to the guilt many moms already feel by, bashing moms who choose to use formula. We don't always know their stories, and contrary to some articles I've read, baby formula is not poison. We should count ourselves as lucky that if our babies don't seem to be thriving, we have access to it.

Braggin' On My Beans

Typical Stella face anytime a camera is around

My little Love Bean, Stella, is just over 2. If I had to describe her in three words; smart, soft-spoken, jumper. I could spend this whole post bragging on her, but I'll save you all from that. The girl loves jumping off of just about anything, being tossed into the air, flipped around, and has balance like you wouldn't believe. If I had to guess, I'd say she's either going to be a gymnast, cheerleader or track star. Two things I never want to forget about her at this age—she names everything Yellow and she loves to pretend her bell is a stethoscope and listens to our hearts.

Angry Bean, is the worst possible nickname for Rosalie. But alas, I will still call her that on the blog. I haven't totally forgot how sick she made me in utero. She is the most content and sweetest baby ever. Seriously. She's now 5 1/2 months old. I have no idea how much she weighs, or how long she is. I'll update ya'll with that in January after 6 month well child check-up. Just this last week she started eating rice cereal, and bananas. Avocado is next up on our foods to introduce list. She's always moving, is smiley, ticklish, and rolling over from belly to back. She hasn't quite made it over from back to belly yet, but she's trying. I do wish she had some hair.

As for Tim and I, we celebrated 4 years of marriage in July. It's hard to believe that we've been together for 8 years. So happy that it's with him that I am growing and parenting. Tim is working in Grand Rapids, loves to hunt when he has the time, and is Stella's base when she is practicing being a flier. I've been busy helping with a before and after school program at a local church, leading a women's Bible study, helping with our church's youth group, babysitting, and taking on the occasional freelance design project.

I'm so looking forward to blogging regularly again! Have a Merry Christmas!

Naming Angry Bean (Part 2)

You can read part 1 here.

It's a girl! Funny thing is we had 100% agreed on a boy's name the night before Rosalie was born. If she had been a boy, we would have brought home, Waylon Timothy Allen.

For as "angry" as she was in the womb, she is the sweetest, most content baby. I feel bad for nicknaming her Angry Bean. This is the birth announcement we sent to some our close family and friends. Thanks to Jody Strang Photography for capturing Miss Rosie for us :)

We had picked out the name Rosalie long before we were pregnant again. Our sweet Rosie is named after Tim's Great Grandma Pruce, whose middle name was Rosalie. Her middle name, Florence, is a family name too. It was my Great Grandma Brodbeck's first name. I love the idea of all of our children's names honoring a relative.

I also think it's pretty neat that the meanings of her first and middle name compliment one another. Rosalie means rose, and Florence mean prosperous or flowering. We didn't even plan that! Her middle name was going to be Joy, until she arrived, and Tim wanted to go with Florence.

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We know things have been quiet around here and it probably will be for the rest of the summer. We've been soaking up lot's of outdoor time with our kiddies.

34 Weeks and Counting

May 21st marked 34 weeks. Less than 6 to go!

Another bathroom selfie for ya :)

I'm starting to feel really pregnant. Which is weird for me, because with Stella I never really felt that big or was ever uncomfortable. (I know you can all hate me for saying that). But this time around, I'm always being kicked in the ribs, and I feel like this baby is going to punch it's way out me.

A couple weeks ago, I mentioned I was having second ultrasound. I had to have it because my placenta was lying too close to my cervix. Thankfully, my placenta has moved up, although not as far up as my doctor had hoped it would. However, she feels totally comfortable letting me go into labor. If it hadn't moved up enough I would have to have a planned c-section. A c-section is something I really, really, don't want to have. I know they're super routine now days, but they make me nervous, and from what I hear the recovery sucks. There is still a chance that I may end up having one if I start bleeding while in labor, which would be scary, but my doctor doesn't think that will happen. I have yet another ultrasound scheduled at 36 weeks, so that they can keep on eye on things.

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A short Love Bean update for ya...she had a well child check up today. At 20 months she weighs 22.6 lbs, and is 32 1/2 inches long. She's a petite little thing. She loves to read, climb and to jump off of things. I'm actually impressed with her landings most of the time, she lands with both feet planted and bends her knees. She's quite the dare-devil. Maybe we really do have a future gymnast on our hands?

Thoughts About Pregnancy #2

It's been a few weeks since my last Angry Bean update. I have a lot of random thoughts to share, please forgive the lack of flow this post is going to have. I haven't gotten any better at selfies, this one I took with my laptop, so it's a little better. I guess I could have Tim take the pics, but I just don't really like taking belly pics. It's awkward.

32 weeks - only 8 weeks to go!

I've heard a common fear when you have your second child is—you won't love them as much as you love your first—I'm not worried about that. I have no doubt that I will love Angry Bean, as much as I love Love Bean. Even if their nicknames make the opposite sound true ;)

My biggest fear, is that I won't be able to give them both enough attention. Especially since I'm planning on breast feeding again, and would like to do so for at least 6 months. Nursing Love Bean seemed to take up so much of my day, and you can't really do anything else while nursing, so it makes me a little nervous. Tips please?!

I think my body is already preparing me for sleep deprived nights. I've been waking up a lot of nights around 2:30am and am wide awake. Love Bean was such a good sleeper. I'm crossing my fingers that Angry Bean will be too, but I won't be let down if (s)he isn't, because I know that's not typical. Did you know that 70% of babies don't sleep through the night (6 to 8 hours) until 9 months?

I'm not nearly as worried about having things ready as I was with Love Bean. My mindset lately has been—Eh...I have my boobs, that's all the baby will really need for the first few months. I should probably wash some receiving blankets and onesies though.

I can feel Angry Bean move way more than I ever felt Love Bean. My doctor said this could be for one or two reasons. 1.) I know what it feels like, so I started to notice it sooner. 2.) This time my placenta is at the back of my uterus, which typically makes movement more noticeable. It could have been in the front last time around, adding a little extra padding, and making movements less noticeable.

We have pretty much settled on either Hank or Edison for a boy. Tim is still leaning towards Hank, but I think he's coming around to Edison. And Rosalie is set in stone for a girl. If you ask Stella, she wants a baby Eddie.

The infant carseat we have is mostly black, but it does have dark purple piping, and some tan butterflies on it. Is it bad that I plan on using it even if we have a boy? Maybe I'll try dying it all black or buy a cover for it.

The other day, my sisters forced me to list things I needed to get before Angry Bean's arrival. It was more than I thought, maybe I should get on it.

I feel like I'm the same size as I was the day I delivered Love Bean, so I'm a little nervous to see how much I balloon over the next 8 weeks.

When Love Bean was born, I designed birth announcements but I never sent them out. This time around I want to actually get some in the mail.

I have a second ultrasound tomorrow. My first one showed I had low lying placenta, which I guess is pretty common in early pregnancy. This ultrasound is just to make sure that's it moved up to where it's suppose to be. If it hasn't, you'll surely hear more about it because it will change my entire birth plan. My current birth plan? Not having a plan...

I've started getting heart burn when I lay down at night. I had the same thing while pregnant with Love Bean. And just like they say, she was born with lots of hair, so maybe Angry Bean will be too.

Love Bean is a spitting image of her daddy. It'll be fun to see if Angry Bean has the same features, or if (s)he will look more like me.

Naming Angry Bean

We decided to not find out Angry Bean's sex (why Angry Bean?). Sometimes I wish we would have though. Especially if that meant finding out we're having another girl, because then the stress of naming the little bean would be over. We've known since Stella was born that our next little girlie would be named Rosalie.

Coming up with a boy name that both me and the hubs like has been tough. More than tough...it's been one of the more stressful parts of this pregnancy. We started with a list of more than 15 names, and have gone back and forth about our favorites a hundred million times. We've narrowed the list a bit, and we've almost settled on a few different names, but one of us always changes our mind. Right now there are five names in the running; Hank, Sullivan, Franklin, Dominic, and Edison. Hubs' is pretty set on Hank. I like it, but my favorite of the moment is Edison.

I'd love some more ideas to through run past the hubs. Fair warning though, it's hard to find a name he likes. Just ask Alexis. She suggests names all the time, and Tim hasn't went for one yet. And honestly, he doesn't even like the name Edison, but I love it, and I'm not ready to cross it off yet. Some of the names that were once on our list, but have been taken off (read, Tim said no to them all) Leo, Ezra, Cassius, Roman, Roan, Walter, Waylon, Atticus, Judah, Otto, Quintin, Malachi and many others.

I'd love to hear how you went about finding the perfect name. Was it hard for you and your spouse/partner to find a name you both liked? Was it harder for you to pick out names for one sex or the other?

In other baby news, above is a selfie I just took in my bathroom mirror. Yeah, I'm glad those weren't popular when I was a teenager, like they are now. Entering the 3rd trimester, I'm up about 14 pounds, still have an innie belly button (don't foresee that changing. It didn't pop with Love Bean.) and just starting to either hold the fly of my pants together with a hair tie or wear maternity jeans.

I had my glucose test this morning. I felt a little guilty when the tech who was drawing my blood asked how the baby liked all that sugar. Our convo went a little like this.

Me, "hmm, I haven't really noticed a difference."
Her response, "just another day in the life?"
Me, "uhh...I've had a lot of Easter candy to eat"

The guilt didn't last too long...went the through the Biggby drive thru immediately after and ordered a chocolate chip muffin and a tall Teddy Bear. Yes, I'm one of those terrible mothers-to-be that drinks coffee and a lot of other caffeinated beverages. I did with Love Bean, and she turned out just fine.

Angry Bean

So in case you missed the big announcement on Christmas Eve, I'll fill you all in again. Tim and I are expecting baby #2!

Alexis (I think, maybe it was Mal?) lovingly named this little one, Angry Bean. Because from 6 weeks to 13 weeks, I had morning sickness almost every single day and pretty much felt and looked (if I didn't put loads of make-up on) as if the life was being sucked out of me. Since 13ish weeks, I've felt better, but still every now and then I'll wake up not feeling well. This has been a complete 180 from what my pregnancy with Love Bean was like. With her I never got sick and wasn't really that tired. Probably has something to do with the fact I was actually in shape when I got pregnant with Love Bean, and didn't have a 15 month old to chase around.

Other things have been different this time around as well.

Last time around I never had a single craving. I wanted to have one so bad too...I really thought maybe they were made up, and that woman just use them as an excuse to eat whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted.

Well, I'm happy to say I have had ONE craving this pregnancy. It was before the Dairy Queen in Lake O closed for the Winter (thankfully!). I was at home, thinking about what to make for dinner, but all I could think about was a DQ Heath Blizzard made with chocolate ice cream. I made dinner, and tried to eat some of it, but it just didn't taste good, and I couldn't get the blizzard off my mind. I had Tim stop and pick one up for me on his way home. OH. MY. GOSH. when I took the first bite it was like heaven in my mouth. Unfortunately (or fortunately for my waistline), there have been no more ice cream cravings.

I do hope that I actually look more pregnant this time around. The day I delivered Love Bean, I looked like most woman do at 6 months. Although, only gaining 28 pounds was nice, and so was being back in my skinny jeans 6 weeks later. So maybe I don't wanna look more pregnant...