Wednesday, December 14, 2011

the tears don't roll anymore

The topic has of complaining has been on my mind a lot lately. I am really nervous about writing about it though. I mean I don't want anyone to get offended, so don't, ok, disclaimer done!haha
Pretty sure complaining has been on my mind because I find myself doing it. I don't want to, I have NOTHING to complain about. No matter how much I want to. . . I refuse and I won't! Life is too short to be unhappy all the time. I don't want to feel blah or wishing something was better than it is. I gotta live in the moment. I think in all reality though that is just hard to hear people complain about their life. Wishing something was different whether it be a job, husband, kids, just life. Once that wish was granted we would find something else to complain about. . .right? 
Example: Jess and I chose to have 3 children. Do we really have the right to complain about being a mom or dad. For real though, we chose it. So on those sleepless nights...yes we still have those and our kids at home are 3.5 and 1.5...we have to remember those will eventually end. So just be happy that you have kids to get up with, not everyone is able. Be happy that you get to be their comfort and that they want you. It is hard to remember that. And more for me now than ever, do I remember this. Not being able to be their comfort each night was tough. So, if one night Jo just can't sleep great in her room and she comes sneaking into my room-I will slide over and get woke up a million times from an elbow in my side, head, face. Or if Rae can't find her pacifier or blankie has fell out of bed, off I go(not always awake).
And, when I chose to be a mom I GET the joy of taking the kids to the grocery store! 
Is it easy? Not always. 
Is it fun? Barely(I don't like grocery shopping anyway). 
But, I don't want to waste the family time at night, so I go during the day, kids and all. Although this takes special planning around nap times, eating, etc. And I find it is easier as they get older. But, I have been the lady in the store with a screaming child. Yes, I left a full cart of groceries at the front and hauled a 2 year old under my arm and carseat hanging off the other. Then I get to the car and cry all the way home on the phone to Jess. This is motherhood. . . am I right? Can I get a amen!?! haha. Do you have any great grocery store stories? I would love to hear it! Makes me feel a little better. 

I guess this post has been on my mind for awhile. I feel like right now, at this point in my life, I could be miserable. Or I can turn it around not get totally freaked out our car is done for. That I will be car-less while Jess is at work and that means later nights for us to go see G-baby. Or our Envoy get 15 miles to the gallon and Jess has to drive to work and then we have to go to see Gat each night. Because, honestly last week when Jess's work car died. I was FLIPPING out! Heaven for bid one more thing happen. I tried to cry but couldn't it was just like I can't cry anymore, the tears wouldn't come. I was just like, "God help us out here, I'm spent physically, emotionally, and need help! We need you! How are we going to do it!? We can't buy a car right now, what if something happens to Gatlyn? Jess can't get there fast enough from Kalamazoo(where he is working right now)." 
I panicked. I freaked. I went into overdrive. All for about 10 minutes. Then I just put my hands up and gave it to the Big Guy. Yah I am still upset we have to buy another car eventually. But, that car has nothing but good to us! Then Jess got to work overtime. He is working more which couldn't have worked at a better time. I mean seriously, God's plans are so meticulously planned out. He is watching out for us daily, by the hour, by the minutes, by the second. He knows and there is where I end that. 

The End. 
Getting it out there makes me feel better. Hopefully at least one person has felt this way and can understand where I am coming from. Then I rest easy knowing I have done what I wanna do!

Gatlyn is doing AWESOME! He got his broviac put in on Tuesday and did really well. A broviac is a central line right into a main vessel and is tunneled under the skin to prevent infection. It should last a couple months or more...hopefully! prayer for that please!?? Thursday, the 22nd (o wow...I really need to get my Christmas shopping done!) he will be having his reconnection surgery! He only had to wait 6 weeks and 1 day. All the glory to God for it being that quick! He is wearing clothes now and weighing in at about 5 pounds! Big boy...I know!

This is the perfect quote for this post! 

"Do not spoil what you have by
desiring what you have not;
remember that what you have
now was once among the things
you only hoped for." 
-Greek philosopher, Epicurus

1 comment:

  1. Mal,
    Love this. It is so true that once you choose to be a parent you are for life. I always feel like telling the complainers that there are a lot of people in this world that would give ANYTHING to be a mommy to someone and will never have that chance. Hang in there and hopefully your words help all of us to be more patient and do less complaining.


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