Wednesday, October 10, 2012

It's My Birthday Peaches!

Standing 27 inches tall and weighing 17 pounds 4 ounces here comes Gatlyn Tobias! (ok so he isn't standing, but please tell me you said that with an announcer's voice!)
Amazing to think he started at 2 pounds 6 ounces and only 13 inches long.

One year ago on the 9th Gman, Gbaby, Gat, Gator, Cowboy or even sometimes called Gatlyn came into this big world. When I think about writing this post I think of the hardships we have faced this year. But, I don't want to just think about that. I want to think about how he overcame all this, how we did. When I think back and when I read back through old blog post, I realized some things.

Gatlyn is a miracle, all the odds were against him and God gave him to us. If you don't believe in miracles, look at Gatlyn. If you could have seen him about 11 months ago, you would never believe where he is today. 

I love the fact that this blog started because I needed a place to put how I felt into words. Through what I thought at the time would be the hardest 11 weeks of my life was really just the calm before the storm. Little did I know what the devil had in store. Gatlyn was brought into the world after 8 weeks on bed rest. God would never want this to happen to Gatlyn, we just have to be so thankful God won this battle. I am so aware of the angels surrounding us each day. The angels that were holding Gatlyn in their arms for those awful three months when I couldn't. 

Even though we couldn't hold him at first it was just so awesome to see him alive! Jesse was able to hold Gat after a week. I got to 2 days later then Jess. It is crazy to think back to that time. We were just so happy he was doing so well. He was defying all odds at the time. We were told of this infection call NEC but never once thought it could happen to Gat. He had been through a lot already. 

Our luck turned down the wrong path and finally on November 9th they decided to emergency surgery on him. I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was so scary to think that your child is so sick that if he didn't have this surgery then he may die. Or even worse he could still even not make it through surgery. I received a text on the way to the hospital from a good friend of ours and a prayer warrior, it read May God's will be done for Gatlyn. (or something along the lines of that) While driving (me riding, Jess driving) to the hospital I was thinking no, he would never do this. He wouldn't take our baby away now. What if that is what God's plan is? What if we were only supposed to have him for a month? But thinking like that would get me nowhere. So I prayed, I don't know how long or how many times but I just kept saying, "Please don't take him. Please. Be the hands of the doctor. I don't know what to do. Please I need peace." It was like on repeat I just kept praying this in my head over and over. 

Now to the happy part, because I didn't want this to be a downer I swear! (But hey, when the words flow, they flow.) We walked in and saw all of these doctors/nurses/specialists surrounding our 3 pound baby and my heart dropped further. But once I saw him, I just felt it was going to be okay. I felt the angels around us. I knew that Jesus was by his side and helping him hold on until the surgery could be done. 

We got to go into a different room with Gat while they prepared everything for surgery and we just held his hand. I hadn't really gotten to kiss him even so I just kept kissing his head. Telling him we loved him. Jess was nervous I could tell, but I could see he was praying too. What seemed like forever but was only a short 10-15 minutes we sat waiting for the surgeon. He came in and made us feel ready for anything. We left that room and were at peace. I didn't have a doubt after that, I knew Gat would make it. We were getting to keep our baby boy longer. We sat in that waiting room for around 4 hours waiting for the news. It all came back very positive. Although we still had a lot of hurdles to cross I was ready to see him. Wanted to kiss him again, let him know we were there for him. 

Geez louise I never meant to go into this much detail! But I just don't think I ever could put into words some of the hardest times until now. 

But for you to fully understand why we are so excited about some of the things we are, I wanted to share that day with you. Although I can never fully comprehend everything that we have been through nor tell all of the "God sightings" we had while going through some of these times. I can tell you one thing for sure. God had his hands ALL over us. I had faith and faith is what got us through. 

I think back and thank God for giving Jesse and myself clarity in the decision we had to make. For guiding us and the family around us to help us make decisions that literally were life altering. Even more thankful for him keeping our heads just clear enough to comprehend the information we were given daily on our son. I can only imagine if my head was spinning the whole time (like it has been for the last six months) what I mess I would have been in the hospital. I am thankful for the nurses, doctors, secretaries and kindhearted staff at the NICU. I am SO thankful for our wonderful family who made it possible for us to do what we needed to do as parents. A a HUGE thank you to all of our Twenty Something Mamas out there, your kind words and encouragement means the world to us. (Not just regarding Gatlyn but we love when you give us feedback in general:))

After a long talk with J yesterday, I can't look back and look at the what ifs anymore. It's time to move forward. We had to make choices daily that would affect us later on no matter what. If I would have been at the hospital more I would have wished I was at home. There is no other way to think than just straight up be thankful. I am so thankful. 

I may be partial but we have a beautiful family of 5. We have a bossy, funny, sarcastic Jo who has a whole lot of attitude to boot. Rae makes me laugh and want to pull my hair out daily. (I swear I am gonna be all grey soon!) A Rae who walking into Target todays says, "MMM, I shmell shfriiiess." 
The little boy who I called Cowboy from the beginning because he was the toughest 2 pounder I know. The Cowboy who makes me smile and when I look at him I think of God. The little boy that is now eating a half jar of baby food at a time. When you look at him you can't help but smile. To be quite honest I will have a hard time disciplining this one!  How can you tell him, "No!" When he grabs your glasses or hair when two months ago he couldn't even do that. 

Thanks for your prayers and please continue to pray for him to cross each hurdle that comes his way. 

Our readers are the best and the support is awesome! 

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