20 Questions: Alexis

My turn to play 20 questions :) Be sure to stay tuned weekly as we will be having guest appearances from other 20 Something Mammas, starting next Tuesday!!!!

Tell us a little about who makes your house a home.

Well I live with my parents. So of course there is…

Mamma: She is the best cook you’ll ever meet and is OCD about her laundry. Which I am ok with because that means I can’t do it ;) She is a stay at home wife and Nanner.

Pappa Bear: Also known as Ba to Ruthie and Poppy to Andi and Rae, Stella and gat have yet to pick a name. He is a hardworking, as he likes to put it, “Agricultural Businessman” aka a farmer. Really though he is fun and easy to pick on when he’s home, especially when he sits on his Ipad all night and plays solitaire.  

Ruthie: A sweet and very busy 1 year old who has the cutest personality and never fails to put a smile on your face. I may be a little bit biased tho! She loves blueberries, animals, ranger rides with Ba, being outside, food, and the book Brown Bear Brown Bear.

Me: Your average girl handling life one day at a time.

Oh and don’t forget Ruthie’s fish, and her bunny Cheez-it.

What's a typical day in your household like?

Lets just talk about a good day ;) you don’t want to here about the bad, trust me. But seriously, most days Ruthie and I both sleep in to about 830-9ish. I wake up to her yelling MAAA MA down the hall. We get up and I fix Ruthie breakfast, her usual, two eggs and a half of bagel with her Auntie J’s homemade blueberry jam. From there it varies each day depending on the calendar. But most of the time it involves one of two things Ruthie playing a lot and me doing homework or Ruthie playing with all her cousins and me chatting with all my sisters and mother. Don’t forget the much needed 9:30am to 12pm and 2:30ish to 5pm naps! Around 4:30 I say goodnight to Roo if she’s up and head to work and come home around 10pm and she’s fast asleep for the night. I stay up doing more homework and then go to bed around 12.

How has your lifestyle changed since having children?

I would say I am more of a homebody. I prefer to stay home, I only like to go out on a rare occasion. I used to be your typical college girl but becoming a mom has put different priorities in my life and I am okay with that.

Have you ever felt the need to defend your decision to start a family in your 20's?

I often feel threatened by other people my age thinking I am crazy or making comments of how they don’t understand why people our age are having kids or getting married. Personally I think just like a race, everyone takes life at it’s own pace but we all end at the same finish line. So I feel that area could be a little more respected.

What's the most challenging thing about being a mom, and what's the most rewarding?

The most challenging I would have to say are the tantrums. I am not going to lie I find them rather annoying and especially embarrassing when in public places. The most rewarding is (this may be a little harsh) the cry when I leave for work because I know she doesn’t want me to go and she’ll miss me. But besides that I love just watching Ruthie play by herself. It is quite hilarious and I love watching her figure out things for herself.

How are household chores divided up in your family?

My mom does A LOT of it and I am expected to help out. I admit sometimes I fall short, but don’t worry I am put into place when I do. Not directly, short humorous remarks are made and let’s just say I get the hint. But I do most of the errand running since I go to town the most and when asked to do something I make sure to do it without complaining about it.

How do you find a balance between your commitments and family time?

In order to do this well I have to keep good time management. Some weeks are worse then others but most of the time it works great for me. Ruthie takes two naps, so I try to designate those times for homework. That way when she is up I can keep up with her busy self. Other then that Ruthie is really the only relationship I have to balance so it really isn’t to bad.

What's your most embarrassing mom moment??

I have lots but probably the most embarrassing was when I went back for my 6-week check after I had Ruth. She went with me and while we were waiting for the doctor I smelt a nasty poopy diaper. I decided I had time to change her so I put her on my lap to do it. I was holding her legs up and bent down to get a new diaper form the diaper bag when Ruthie decided she wasn’t done and shot diarrhea all up the front of me. It was disgusting. I hurried got her changed and attempted to wipe all the crap off of me. The doc came in and I said, “don’t mind the large stain on my shirt and the awful smell, there was an accident.” I then had to proceed to walk out through a full waiting room with the “I just got shot with poop” look on my face and shirt.

Who (or what) has influenced your parenting style the most?

I would say my mom because she has helped me out a tremendous amount since the beginning and always seems to be the first person I ask when I have a question. But when I think about what type of parent I want to be I find myself searching and paying attention to the bad parents and the naughty kids. I look at what they are doing I say I will NOT be doing that!

Since becoming a mom how have your friendships changed?

Have you made new friends, strengthened friendships, or lost friends?

Since my freshnman year of college I have had the same three really close friends and I am proud to say since becoming a mom I still have them. They have been there from the beginning and haven’t ever left and for that I love them to death. It would have been easy for them to leave since we had only known each other for a year and a half and we all live more then a hour away but they didn’t. I would say after you become a mom you find which are true friends. I know Natalie, Alissa, and Bunny (yes that is just a nickname) are true friends because our relationship doesn’t take any work. I can not speak to them for weeks and pick up right where we left off. They respect my feelings and decisions as a mom and don’t tempt me or give me a hard time for not going out but at the same time they are there the moment I decide I need a night out. They love Ruthie to pieces. They feel more like sisters than friends.

I would say I have made new friends. I have more in common with people who are moms as well so it is easy to talk and relate to those women. I attended a MOPS group this past year, which has really helped me find friends who I can relate to.

How do you fit in time for your romantic relationship?

I don’t have one nor am I looking for one.  I don’t really want to handle the amount of stress that that question sounds like it has.

What's one piece of advice you have for future/new moms?
So I heard this piece of advice but I never believed it. "They grow up fast, so enjoy it while they are little." But seriously, it goes SO fast. I can't believe Ruthie is already a little toddler :( So really embrace those naps where they will still lie on your chest because before you know it they don't want you to be a pillow anymore, you will be a jungle gym. 

What's your childcare set-up and why does it work for you?

My mom watches Ruthie for me while I am at work, and if she can’t one of my sisters steps up. It works great because after I leave Roo is up for at least 2 more hours and then heads to bed. Being home where her bed is allows her to keep a sane schedule and consistency, which is good for her. When I go full time I will be looking into some type of day care or nanny.

Do you ever get time to yourself?

Yes, having one child I find naptime as a time for myself. I also try to let myself go have fun without Ruthie, although I usually flake at the last moment, whether this is pedis with my mom and sisters or a night with my friends. I think it is harder for a working mom to push aside the guilt of leaving her kid for the night because we already leave them for a period of time everyday during the week. But I do think working mom or not it is important to get some “me time.”

What was the biggest adjustment after baby was born?

Going somewhere. Sounds simple but before I had a baby if I wanted to go somewhere I just had to get up get dressed and go. Now I have to wake up at least an hour earlier so I can feed her, bathe her, dress her, pack her diaper bag. Then it involves loading her in the car the stroller in the car and unloading her when you get there. Sometimes it just easier to stay home.

Has having children changed your relationship with food?

I have never been a picky eater. I eat or try most of anything. I do think this has influenced the way I feed Ruthie. I let her try anything I am eating and she always likes it. I go in spurts where I try to be healthier and when I am in those spurts I find myself giving Roo healthier options too. I should probably do that more often.

What are your plans for your child's education? 

I haven’t really thought about it too much I guess it depends on how Ruthie is doing when it comes time to make those decisions and what my working situation is.

How is discipline handled in your family?

I handle all discipline unless Ruthie is alone with my parents they are involved to. Ruthie does see her dad most every other weekend but he informed me the other week that his time out chair involved a comfy chair with gold fish crackers…. good luck with that! My outlook, which was also formed with a conversation with Jamie, is that right now Ruthie is testing boundaries to see what she can get away with and what she can’t. So it is important for me to establish those boundaries and that’s what we are working on now. If she is doing something wrong I first tell her no and if she doesn’t listen I’ll remove her from the situation. If she goes back and does it again I then use the time out chair. She sits there and I stand by her with a not so nice look. Once she calms down I talk to her and end with a kiss. I know she probably can’t comprehend this 100% right now but I think we are on the right track, she has shown improvements.

If you could change one thing about your current set-up, what would it be?

I like living with my parents don’t get me wrong. But I hate the feeling of being dependent on someone other than myself. I would love to get Ruthie and I a place of our own, but I know right now I could not provide that without help so I am saving, saving, saving so I can once I graduate. Then I will feel accomplished and truly feel I can do this on my own.

Finish this sentence, Before having kids, I wish I would have known... how incredibly hard it is to say no when there are cute clothes for little kids in almost every single store I walk into. I will be in a store have stuff for both Ruthie and I, but then I end up putting back mine so I can buy more cute stuff for her.