Sunday, November 20, 2011


Surrender, Hope & Transformation= Contentment

Hope has been mind the last week and then when doing my devotional last night transformation was the title. I think having both of these on my mind is great. I have been very hopeful the past week. Although there are still so many things that can go wrong, I feel hopeful. I wasn't sure if I was just being naive and trying not to think about the negative. Then I read my devotional and everything seemed to come together in my head, why I was feeling this way. 

These are some verses that kind of sum it all up. 

First, it is putting all your anxiety/troubles/worries on the Big Guy.
Cast all your anxiety on HIM because HE cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert.
1 Peter 5:7-8

Then having the hope in Him. 
Then you will know that I am the LORD; those who hope in me will not be disappointed. 
Isaiah 49:23

Then to be transformed in multiple ways. I feel hope because my thinking has been transformed. Instead of consistently asking why-I have started to ask what. Not why is this happening to me, but, what are you trying to show/tell. My devotional is call Jesus Lives by Sarah Young. In it she writes from the what God tells her. At first that was hard for me to understand how she can write what God tells her.  And I got a little bit jealous in a way. For someone to be able to have the feeling that God is telling them what to do/write. I have only ever had the feeling one distinct time and I want that again! Amazing. All in the same respect, it is hard to think somebody can say God told me to write this. And, she writes from his viewpoint. I don't know if that makes sense but it does to me. Anyway, back to why I am typing this. I am going to type the part that just really struck home with me when I was reading.

"As the Holy Spirit controls your mind and actions more fully, you become free in Me. You are increasingly released to become the one I created you to be. 

Freedom through surrender sounds like a contradiction, doesn't it? Yet, when My Spirit is controlling your thinking and behavior, you feel more alive, more real, more content!"

I feel that my hope is coming from surrendering. I have to surrender my thoughts. Recognizing there is someone bigger than me that can help more than I can. Also, a lot easier to surrender when Cowboy is improving. I am totally not trying to act like I don't struggle and won't struggle. I know I will and still do. But, having this hope and surrendering like I have been is comforting. I feel content. 

COWBOY UPdate: He has consistently improved this week:) He was given lasix (water pill) to help with the swelling. And he has not been getting as much pain medication and has been tolerating that well. At his biggest he weighed 5lb 7oz and he is back down to 4lb 9oz. So we just keep hoping for some more weight loss. Weird right? Yah, he needs to lose all that fluid. And that means he will be a healthier baby. He needs to lose that fluid so there is not so much pressure on the brain and his little lungs. Please prayer for every little organ in his body to start doing what they need to do. 

When I went to see him last night I couldn't stop smiling. I walked in and was like I feel like I finally have my Gatlyn back. There are no words for the joy I felt sitting there with him last night. 


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