Monday, April 22, 2013

Curiosity Welcomed.

I never thought I would encounter the issues we have encountered lately. Call me ignorant or something, I don't know.

In Cabela's the other day I was holding Gat and a lady obviously noticed his helmet(how can you not?! ha) She went on to tell me her grandson had "one of those" and look he is perfect now. (Oh he wasn't perfect before?!) I was like yah, it's no big deal, he doesn't mind it. We got it on a little late so we will see! She then insist on telling me he did to, and it will all be okay (patting me on the back and giving me a sympathetic look). I looked at her oddly. Umm, yah it is not a big deal, he is fine (I turn away).

Seriously, we don't need a pity party, but that is the first thing people offer when they see Gat. But for some reason a cord and a helmet make others feel bad for us. Can't you just look at the bright smile or shy eyes the kid has!?! C'mon ladies and gents. We are supposed to be the adults, I know Gat isn't old enough to notice when people look at him differently, but there are kids that are. Aren't the adults supposed to be "cool" about stuff. I am learning each day more and more they aren't.

We get to the car and are on our way to eat and Jess begins to tell me of an encounter he had at Cabelas the same day. He and Gat were looking at guns and a lady just came up to him and was touching Gat. (FYI: I HATE when strangers just come up touch my kids. They don't know you! Don't put your paws on my kids! Sorry, for that mini rant). Jess is not the type of guy to talk to people he doesn't know, so he was trying to get away. The lady continued to follow him and asked Jesse what is wrong with him!  Mind you he wasn't even hooked up to his pump. Just had his helmet on. Jess replied, "Nothing, just trying to shape his head." Of course the lady comes back with the, "Oh I know someone who had that and they are fine and it's going to get better."

I guess this rant just makes me feel better. I don't want people to feel bad for Gatlyn or ESPECIALLY Jess and myself. We are happy beyond measures that he is with us. The set backs he has do effect him, but we want him treated like any other 18 month old little guy. He is perfect to us and we don't want people to notice his disabilities before his smile:)

It is insulting when someone stares and doesn't ask. But there is the tone of curiosity and then the tone of sympathy. Curiosity welcomed, sympathy not.

This is why I love when little kids see Gat. They always ask, "What's this?" and "OH MY GOSH, he has a HELMET!!!"(I have got that a couple times). I love it when kids are curious and ask. The funny part is when the parents try to hush their kids. I think the time Alexis went with us to feeding therapy is the perfect example of what I want to be like as a mom.

One week Roo & I got to tag along to a feeding therapy appointment with Gat & Mal. While waiting for Gat to get done doin’ his thing, Roo and I sat in the waiting room and played on the oversized bugs and animals (easiest waiting room to wait in ever!) As we were sitting there a mom wheeled in her son who was in wheel chair and faced him towards the movie and continued to wait with the other 3 families in there as well. We were all quietly sitting there watching our kids and keeping to ourselves when all of the sudden this boy storms in with a huge smile on his face, and shouts “WELL HI! My name is (if forget his real name, lets just call him Joe) Joe and I am 13” It was apparent that he had some type of disability and after that first outburst his Grandma told us all, “Sorry about that, just tell him when you don’t feel like talking anymore and he will leave you alone.” He was the most happiest, talkative, outgoing boy I have ever seen. It didn’t take long for him to notice the boy sitting in his wheel chair in front of the TV. At that time the mother of the boy in the wheel hair had begun putting some type of liquid food into his feeding bag and held it up above her head so it could continue to flow for the boy to eat. Joe ran right over and said “What’s wrong with him?!?” The boy’s mother chuckled and explained his condition and Joe replied, “Well that sucks, does it hurt him?!” The mother continued to explain no it didn’t he just has to do things differently. Joe continued to ask question after question “So he can’t chew?” “How’s his chair work?” “Does he only get to eat that shake?” “Is he sad, he can’t talk?” “Tell him to try and say my name.” Joe continued on and on talking to the mom, who was all about it. She talked without hesitation and did not put off one sign of being annoyed of Joe and all his questions. He wanted to learn all about this little boy and tried to even interact with him even though he didn’t show much emotion. Joe’s Grandma came over once again and apologized and said “Joe come on, leave them alone.” The mom replied “Ohhhh don’t worry about!! I love when people ask questions, most of the time they are afraid too. It’s better then him (Joe) just sitting there staring.” At that time Joe got called back and said a quick “Well hope ya get feeling better!!”



  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    1. Hi Dona, I didn't mean to delete your comment. I accidentally pressed delete (why I shouldn't use my IPad to reply).

      I agree with the fact that I need to be a smiling face, and usually that is my take. Somedays are easier than others. Just trying to open the eyes of some that don't get, just as I didn't get it before Gat. Thanks for your input, I am going to try to be better:)


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