Thursday, January 19, 2012

Dr. Jekylle and Mr. Hyde

Let me preface this post with, I'm a little nervous about publishing it, but I've prayed about it, thought about it, and days later it's still on my heart.

Being a twenty-something mom can be lonely. As a young mom, you are in a totally different place in your life than the majority of your peers. When you become a young mom you lose some friends, keep some friends, and hopefully make some new friends. The friends that you used to go out to the bar and stay out until 2am with—yeah, you don't really have much in common anymore. But some friends, will be so excited for you, and seamlessly transition into their new role in your life. And hopefully you will be lucky enough to create new bonds with other moms (young or old). Sure you hear that, or think that, but once your Love Bean arrives, you realize it. At least we did.

Nothing made the gap more clear than when I started my new job. Almost all of my co-workers are within 3 years (+/-) of age me. But only a handful are married, and even less than that have a child. After work drinks? Sorry, I have to get home to the nanny. Being at such a different place in my life than them, is a little bit of a struggle for me. Part of me really misses the freedom I had before Love Bean, staying out late, not worrying about getting right home after work, sleeping in, or indulging in a night of what I now refer to as "College Jamie".

The other part of me, has absolute no desire to do those things anymore. That part of me is 100% content with getting up an hour earlier to have time to play with Love Bean before I leave for work, rushing home after work to see that beautiful smiling face, going to bed at 10pm so I can be up and ready to do it all over again at 6am the next day.

I guess, I'm a bit of a Dr. Jekylle and Mr. Hyde. But I think most moms are, regardless of age, regardless of where they live, regardless of their economic status. I just think that the gap is a little more obvious for young moms. I hope this is relate-able. I think the key to juggling these two sides is, in fact NOT juggling them. It's finding a balance. You can't completely lose who you were before baby. That's how moms (and dads) end up resenting their children.

Honestly, I'm still working on trying to find that balance. Meeting up for dinner and drinks with my friend Rachel last week, was just what I needed. I think nights like that will be key for me. I also attend a women's Bible study every other Monday, but next week will be the first week I don't have to take Love Bean with me.

By no means do I want that to sound like I resent my child or regret having her, or anything like that. I DON'T!! It actually makes me a little upset that I even feel like I need to say that. Being a mom is hard, and I think that I'm expressing what most moms feel, but are too afraid to say, because the fear people will think they're a terrible mother. I love my little bean to pieces, and coming home to her smile everyday is the best. I just need some me time every now and then.


  1. Good for you realizing it now! It's hard for mom's to take time for themselves as so many people judge them if they do. I am not saying take a couple days a week but once a month or so is fine. I never did and it's one thing I wish now for my kids I would have! That way they would not feel so bad when they take time to refresh and refuel so they can be a better mom and wife! Take some time now and then for yourself!!

  2. I hope you know that I will probably keep asking you to hang out & have drinks from time to time (like St. Patty's day); but I completely understand when you can't & will never hold it against you! I love "College Jamie" but I also love "Momma Jamie".

  3. I totally understand this! I am struggling with the fact that I don't get much me time. Some days I feel terrible that I want some alone time, and other days I think to myself..."don't feel bad, you do need some time".


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